On Your Side
by Notaslongasthat
Summary: I have never written for Downton Abbey. I love Robert and Cora though. I wanted to try writing something and I had no idea where I was going with it. This was the result ..
1. Chapter 1

I own nothing

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"I hope you know that really smart people sleep in separate rooms," Mary informed her parents as her father entered her mother's bedroom from his rarely occupied dressing room.

"I always keep the bed made up in the dressing room so at least I pretend that we sleep apart. Isn't that enough?" Robert tried.

"No. Never mind. Good night," Mary quickly replied before leaving. She figured the less she knew, the better.

Cora smiled slightly at Robert - her thoughts still busy with Mary's troubles. She couldn't help but smile wider though as Robert smirked at her. He took off his dressing robe and tossed it carelessly at the foot of their bed.

"I guess that means we're not really smart people after all," he teased. He stared down at her with a glint of mischief in his eyes.

"No. I suppose not," she whispered.

"I'd rather be considered a helpless fool than to sleep away from you."

She blushed and looked down. "Me too." When she looked up at him he was still standing beside their bed. She raised an eyebrow at him. "I may be a fool for asking this then, but why are you still standing there?"

"Well, my dear, you may not have noticed but you are on my side of the bed."

"Pfft. Well, you're not supposed to even _have_ a side on my bed. Both sides of this bed are mine as far as propriety is concerned."

"You just told me you weren't concerned with being appropriate. Or smart."

"So, then you are saying the smart thing for me to do would be to not have you in my bed," she teased.

"You're on my side, Cora" he insisted.

She laughed then paused. "Well, fortunately for us, when it comes down to it, I am always on your side."

"So, darling, are you going to move over?"

"No," she said firmly. She leaned up and grabbed his pajama shirt to pull him down next to her. She kissed the spot below his ear before whispering to him, "I think the only smart thing _is_ for us to be together. To be on the same side. I need to be on your side, Robert. And I need you on mine."

"Cora?" He questioned. Her tone was soft but serious.

"With Sybil. I don't think reacting with anger and forbidding her is going to accomplish anything. She has interests and wants to be involved. We raised smart and stubborn daughters, Robert, if you haven't noticed. They won't stop their passions just because we disagree and they certainly won't do what we demand." Cora placed a slightly lingering kiss on his throat where she noticed his pulse increase slightly since she brought up their youngest daughter's escapades.

Robert ran his thumb over the back of her hand. "I know but Cora -"

She grabbed his hand between both of hers firmly. "But something has happened concerning our daughter's resistance to what we want her to do that I think you'll be pleased about."

Robert looked at her quizzically. "What's that?"

"Matthew proposed to Mary tonight. And before you came in here she told me that she believes she loves him. And has for a while."

Robert looked somewhat stunned. "Well, I never would have believed that even a couple months ago! Wow." He smiled at Cora. "Did she give him an answer?"

"No. She will. I can tell she really loves him and that's the only reason she will marry. She never considered it before when we wanted her to take him. I told you - we have stubborn daughters. But they are smart. Thank heavens."

"Well, we know where they get that from," Robert began.

"Oh?"

"From a certain woman I love whose stubbornness is keeping her from moving to her side of the bed."

"Yes," Cora agreed. "And that stubborn woman is also smart enough to know that if she doesn't move, she will get what she wants from her husband."

Robert pressed his lips against hers. "To be on the same side."

"Always," Cora mumbled into his lips.

Robert traced his tongue across her upper lip before Cora gently bit down on his lower lip. Her fingers combed through his hair as he moved his lips across her jawline. She sighed into his ear as he kissed across her favourite spots he knew so well.

"Robert..." she breathed. He responded with light kisses on her neck. Robert moaned into her neck when Cora's hands eagerly explored his chest.

Cora shifted from beside him into his lap, straddling him confidently. She leered down at him and was excited by the look he returned. His hands raced up her sides. His touch was firm but gentle as he felt her curves over her nightgown. Cora grabbed his hands in hers, intertwining their fingers in both hands.

"My dear, Cora," he rasped. "You're on my side. I need you on my side - on my side of the bed tonight with me. I don't care what the really smart people say. All I want to do is really foolish things with you."

"That's no way to talk to a lady, Robert Crawley. Luckily for you, I am nothing but a fool when it comes to you."

"Oh, then we are definitely on the same side," Robert smirked before pulling her down against him. Cora began undoing the buttons on his silk top and demanded in a low tone, "Good. Now, kiss me and remind me why I'm happy to be a fool."

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Cheesy corny fluff. I hope it was somewhat enjoyable. Xo


	2. Chapter 2

**This story will be a collection of one shots, I think.**

Robert heard the motor head down the drive, departing with the duke of Crowborough on that April morning. He watched as Bates headed around the house to enter through the servant's door. There he would enter and there he would stay. It wasn't right to sack him before he started. That's what he told Carson before walking back up the gravel drive and through the front door past a disgruntled looking Thomas.

Cora headed back into the house after she heard Robert tell Bates that they wouldn't have a single word about it. Robert knew that Bates would not question his lordship's decision if he did not want to be questioned. He also knew his wife would definitely have some words about it. He wasn't sure whether to discuss it with her immediately or give her time to herself.

With a sigh, he decided to go to his desk in the library to organize some notes and documents for Murray. No doubt they would be having meetings soon to discuss the new heir. Robert still couldn't believe Patrick and James were gone.

When he walked into the library, he saw Cora sitting by the fireplace. She looked distracted as she stared at the flickering embers - almost as if she were trying to see through them. She snapped into focus when Robert sat down in his chair and rotated it, facing her.

She didn't say anything. Robert learned many times over the years that a silent Cora was a scary Cora or at least a Cora to be careful around.

"I couldn't do it," he broke the silence.

She nodded.

"It wasn't right."

She huffed audibly then gave him a half shrug. "It's not going to be easy."

"I know it wasn't right to sack him. I want to give him a chance and I couldn't bare his face when he was leaving. Bates would never beg but I know he wants to stay here more than he let on. He's a good man, Cora. He's honest and he said he can handle the work. I believe him and I owe him a chance. He's done so much for me. If Downton needs extra help to compensate when we have a party or anything, I promise I will figure it out. It won't be a problem. I will discuss things with Carson whenever things needs to be discussed," he rambled. He paused, placing his hands in his lap. Making a pleading face to Cora he urged, "This is right. I know this is right."

Cora rose from her spot on the couch and walked behind him and setting her hands on the back of his chair.

"O'Brien's never going to let me hear the end of it," she complained in a light hearted grumble.

Robert huffed. "It's not up to her. And besides I've wanted you to get rid of her for years. Now we're even, it seems. You don't care for my valet either."

"Robert," she began as she molded her hands to his shoulders, using her thumbs to work out knots she felt in his shoulder blades. "I never said I didn't care for him. I rather liked him and I was glad for you when he arrived. You were so pleased. I just don't want to make it any harder on the staff than it needs to be and certainly not on Bates. You're right. He does seem a kind man."

"Which is more than we can say for the man who did leave here this morning."

Cora laughed. "You were right last night. You are so much nicer than him."

"I told you."

"And I know you must do what your conscience tells you. I admire that quality in you. Really."

Cora stopped massaging his shoulders and draped her arms around his neck. She placed a light kiss on the back of his neck. Robert moved his hands from his lap and clasped hers in his.

"Really?" he questioned.

"Really, Robert."

"Because..."

"I don't want to fight about the entail right now. Please," she said softly as she pulled her hand from hers and ran it up his arm.

"No," he chuckled. "That's not what I was going to say at all." Robert pulled her around the chair with the hand that was still holding one of hers. "I was just going to say that it's early and the girls are still asleep and I was hoping you and I could take advantage of that. However, my conscience tells me not to and if you admire me for doing as it tells me..."

"Then I'll be the devil on your shoulder that makes you disobey your conscience," she countered.

"Well I certainly don't want to disobey you."

"Fortunately for us," Cora smiled as she placed herself on his knee, "This one of the things we will always agree on."

She shifted to kiss his lips. Robert circled his arms around her waist to pull her closer and deepen their kiss.

"I can't imagine ever disagreeing with this," Robert murmured against her chin when their kiss broke. He quickly stole another kiss from her and then traced kisses across her jaw and neck.

"No," she agreed. "I don't believe you ever have either in our twenty four years of marriage."

He chuckled. "It's nice to have something to be sure of," he said sincerely, looking into her eyes. Her expression softened and Robert grabbed her hand and kissed it. She stood and guided him by their joined hands through the library and up the grand stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

**So, I really don't have any ideas for one shots right now but I wanted to update this story so I made myself write.  
Not mine, not mine, not mine (neither is that - it's a FRIENDS reference) **

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Robert silently entered their bedroom through his dressing room door. He didn't want to wake Cora while she was resting. She was resting because she was pregnant - pregnant! He still couldn't believe it. He didn't know if the shock would ever fade, even if Cora said he had no reason to be shocked in the first place.

Cora stirred. "Did Dr. Clarkson leave?"

"Yes," he answered. "Why? Do you need him?" Robert couldn't hide the concerned tone in his voice as he climbed beside her in bed.

"No. I'm fine," Cora reassured him. "And he told me everything I need to know before I spoke to you."

"Good. Did you sleep?"

"A little."

"We need to tell everyone else the good news," he said with a proud look on his face. "Clarkson said you'll start to show soon."

Robert reached across to rub her stomach, envisioning a very pregnant Cora, before stilling his hand.

"I never thought we would do this again," Cora mused as she placed her hand on top of his.

"And yet you seemed irritated when I was so shocked," he chucked.

"Not irritated," she defended. "Just - you should have seen your face."

"I bet. Well, we will both get to see the look on everyone's face when they react."

"Tonight?"

"I think that's best. We can't very well keep it a secret if you will show soon."

"O'Brien will definitely be able to tell. I don't think she would keep it a secret."

"I don't want to keep it a secret. I want to shout it from the rooftop! But English propriety would not allow it."

"If you listened to the rules of English propriety, we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place," she laughed.

"That's true. But I do want to shout it from the rooftops, Cora. I am pleased, beyond pleased actually, and I don't know if I did a good job of convincing you of that earlier."

She lifted his hand off her stomach and kissed it. "Convince me then," she breathed onto his hand.

He intertwined their fingers. "Cora. I am so happy by this unexpected but very welcome gift. It thrills me that we are going to have another child. I can't wait to hold them in my arms and I can't wait to see you reflected in them - as I see you in our girls now. And if my memory serves, you are possibly even more radiant when pregnant than you usually are. I am ecstatic, even though I am still shocked, that we are having another child. I feel so lucky."

Cora beamed up at him. She unlocked her hand from his and rubbed his cheek with her thumb. "We are. We are both so lucky."

She leaned up to gently kiss his cheek where her thumb was.

"And you're truly feeling well?"

"I am. I just feel, well, pregnant," she declared. "It is still an odd thing to hear myself say."

"Well tonight, I'm sure it will feel a lot more real. Especially when we tell my mother."

"Oh god. She's going to criticize me for still not adhering to English customs. I can just hear her now…"

"I'll tell her it was my fault."

"It was," she teased.

"No more mine than yours!"

"Still, she's going to say at our age this will cause a scandal and we should have more sense than for you to share my bed," she predicted.

"Well, first of all we can't be sure if this baby was conceived in your bed. Secondly, it's too late for sense," he smiled and kissed her stomach. "I reckon that I won't have any sense whatsoever towards you even long after the possibility of babies is gone. I love you too much."

"You love doing what must be done to create a baby, you mean."

"No," he said seriously. "I mean I love _you_."

"I love you too," she kissed his lips.

"But I do love doing that too," he whispered into her lips.

"I know," she said and grabbed his hands to place across her stomach. "We have evidence of that."

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 **Review/leave me ideas or suggestions if you have any. This probably will start becoming very non-chronological if I continue.**


	4. Chapter 4

**i hope this uploads properly- I've been having problems with the formatting when I upload. Don't own anything.**

Robert studied the profile of her face as she stared out the window, the Scottish scenery rapidly passing by. She looked uneasy but that wouldn't be obvious to anyone but him - she was almost as skilled as an Englishwoman now at hiding her emotions. Her hat dipped across her forehead and almost concealed her glassy eyes. With a gentle finger, he lifted the brim of her hat somewhat startling her and she turned to face him.

"She's going to be okay," he said quietly. His hand reached out and brushed across her knee before settling there.

Cora gulped and nodded slightly. "I just hate that we aren't with her."

"I do too," he agreed. "But we will be soon and she has the best care possible. I promise," he squeezed her hand. "It will be okay. More than okay. We will have another grandchild soon and nothing but reason to celebrate."

"I know," she swallowed the lump in her throat and squeezed his hand in return.

They both stared at the passing scenery for a moment until Robert's thought broke the silence. "I still can't believe we are grandparents."

"Me neither," she shook her head. "As much as it feels wrong though, it is so right. I can't wait to see my baby holding her baby. My baby who made me a mother is now a mother."

"I'll never forget that day," he grinned. "Her life is about to change."

"That's an understatement," Cora chuckled. "I think motherhood will suit her more than she knows. She was always so good with her little sisters," Cora remembered. "She's more caring than she lets people believe, our Mary."

"She's going to be the same as her mother."

"Scared beyond words, thrilled, overwhelmed but filled with so much joy?"

"Yes," he kissed her hand. "And I know that whether or not this baby is a girl or boy, she will love them with all she has."

"I love all of my babies with all that I have. Still," she said as her voice caught in her throat. "I do hope for Matthew and Mary to have a nursery full of little boys and girls. Though, if she doesn't have any boys, her mother-in-law will not constantly remind her of it, I don't think."

"No," Robert chuckled. "Do you remember the awkward meeting she had with us, handing us medical journals that told one how and when to try and conceive a boy?"

"And then after Sybil's birth reprimanding us for not following the instructions and demanding to know what we did wrong? I remember you shouting at her that nothing was wrong with our children and the way we created them was our business alone."

"Well, I wouldn't put it past her to give Mary the same lecture," Robert half joked.

"Well maybe she won't need to. We will find out soon. I am so excited to hold him or her."

"I love seeing you with a newborn baby in your arms," Robert replied immediately.

"Our newborn grand-baby."

"I can still see you holding all of ours as fresh as the day they were born. It's a sight I'll never tire of."

She laughed. "It's a sight you'll never see again!"

"That may be," he conceded. "But I still get to see you with our new grandchild. And soon. Then we can celebrate their arrival together in a way we were always too busy to do when welcoming our own."

"Well, if I didn't wish this train could move faster before, I certainly do now," she grinned cheekily.

"Well they say that time goes faster when one is having fun. So I think I could make the trip feel shorter to you," he teased as he cupped her cheek to bring their faces together.

"It's worth a try," she said as she happily kissed him back.

He always knew how to comfort her in uncertain times - little did he know how much uncertainty lay ahead for the entire Crawley family.


	5. Chapter 5

Robert stared out the library window as the sun set over the few remaining tents and booths from the church bazaar. Everyone had gone but they would be back to clean up tomorrow. That afternoon, he overheard several people from the staff and the village compliment his wife's hard work running the bazaar. What interested him most was overhearing Molesly and Baxter as he walked by all the booths, admiring his wife's dedication and eye for detail.

" _Her ladyship pulled through with everything this year. I dare say this may be the most splendid turnout in years," Molesly said cheerfully._

 _"Yes, well," Baxter hesitated._

 _"Yes?" Molesly encouraged her to continue._

 _"She was rather distracting herself, I think from his lordship's absence. When he first left, at night when I would finish readying her for bed, out of habit she would look behind her to his dressing room door. She looked almost haunted when he yet again didn't appear," she explained. "It was subtle of course - but I could tell. These last few weeks, she began occupying herself all day with tasks and files from the bazaar - even bringing papers into bed with her to read and sort through. She always rings the bell in the morning at the same time, but I can tell she hasn't been sleeping as much or as well."_

 _"Well, her effort certainly paid off," Molesly admired all the people bustling about around him. They didn't notice Robert's presence nearby or Molesly definitely would not have added, "and I dare say she will sleep better now."_

 _"You mean because the bazaar will be over-with and such a success?"_

 _"Of course. What else?" he asked as she shook her head at him knowingly._

Robert would have normally been amused by the meaning behind their words even though many would consider them inappropriate. He knew that the staff was aware of their sleeping arrangements - certainly Baxter - but his amusement was prevented by concern. Had Cora really needed to pour herself into the bazaar to manage his absence?

He certainly missed her too while he was gone and without realizing it, he focused a lot harder than was necessary on the details of Harold's case. He knew it didn't matter if he did - his being there would not make a bit a difference.

During his toast to her in front of everyone, he purposefully said, though he disguised it with humour, "my wife clearly manages a lot better in my absence." As he intended, everyone chuckled with their drinks but Robert did notice a flicker of something besides amusement behind her grin. He intended to ask her about it but all afternoon and during dinner, he was never alone with her.

Until now.

He heard the library door close and watched as she entered. He offered her his hand and she joined him next to the large window. They could barely see the mess of tents and tables on the lawn now with the remaining sunlight.

"You did wonderfully," Robert congratulated her again and pulled her hand up to kiss it. "They may not ask me to participate next year. I don't know if they will consider me necessary."

"Well, I don't know about that."

"Even my mother said you did a better job than I do!"

"That is something," Cora admitted. "But you are definitely necessary," she said softly as she squeezed his bicep.

"I missed you so much," Robert sighed as he pulled her into his chest. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her cheek on his shoulder.

"I missed you so much too. More than I thought I would."

"I don't know whether to be comforted or insulted by that," he pulled back but the glint in his eye let her know he was not insulted.

"You know what I mean," she smiled.

"Yes," he said softly and rubbed her cheek with the back of his middle and forefinger before quickly brushing the pads of them across her lips.

"Just as I know how many times you've imagined this scene. Well, I think I know because I have thought of almost nothing else - except the bazaar."

"And if you didn't have to think of the bazaar?"

"I probably would have gotten on a ship to America. If not to be with you, then to yell at Howard for his stupidity that took you away from me. Robert, am I being ridiculous? I mean, we've been married for thirty two years. I should be able to control myself."

"I'm glad. If you were able to control your feelings about me, it would not an ability we share. If think yourself ridiculous, you must think I am too."

"Ridiculously charming," she mumbled in his ear.

"That is what got your brother out of his mess," he said with pseudo arrogance. "My charm and looks are the only chance he had to get out of trouble."

Cora laughed.

"Is there something funny about that?" He asked indignantly.

"Only that your charm and looks do nothing but get me into trouble. The way you looked at me after you kissed me this afternoon..."

"Yes?" He inquired. She looked up into his smouldering eyes.

"If we weren't surrounded by the family and more than half the village, I would not have pulled myself away from you. I barely could."

"Well, we are alone now. So you don't have to pull away."

Robert pulled her against him and placed his hand on the small of her back. He pressed his lips to hers and found her tongue with his. She felt her way up his arms and gripped his shoulders. Robert rubbed circles into her back and she hummed happily into his lips before placing light kisses across his throat.

Robert moaned then eagerly ran his hands down across her bottom. She craned her neck up to look at him as she felt herself being lifted into his arms.

"Robert! I promise I don't want to pull away."

"Happy to hear that," he said huskily and shifted her to cradle in his arms. "And I don't want to let you go."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and shifted her legs around him. Their lips met again. And again. Neither of them cared what they looked like as their hands both roamed the skin of one another that they hadn't been able to touch for weeks. They were getting lost in a particularly long kiss when a throat cleared loudly behind them.

Robert's eyes widened at the sound and Cora turned her neck and secured herself in her husband's grasp.

"Really, brother, I don't understand why you travelled all the way across the ocean and back when there is clearly only one thing you love about America. And she's as good as fused to you. In the library of all places!"

"You're right. I don't understand why we're in the library," Robert replied and hoisted Cora up against him so he could carry her towards the door.

"Sorry Rosamund," Cora offered as they passed her.

"I should think not," she smirked knowingly over her shoulder as she allowed herself fully into the library. She heard the Robert's low voice and Cora's giggles become quieter as they climbed the stairs.

"I hope you're not sorry," Robert said gruffly into her ear as they reached the top of the stairs.

"I'm sorry that we had to spend so much time apart," she breathed against the skin of his cheek. Robert reached for the doorknob of her dressing room.

"Me too."

"And I'm sorry I made you go."

"You didn't," he insisted.

"No, but you knew I needed you to so you did. You did it for me. You didn't want to leave..."

"I didn't want to leave you, no. But the only thing I'm sorry for now is that we're still talking and you're saying sorry." He placed her down on their bed and stood next to her. "There are better ways to spend our time."

"Stop talking about it then and show me," she demanded as she leaned backwards, her eyes looking up to run across his body.

He lunged across her body, using his forearms to hover over her. His nose nuzzled into the skin on her cheek. He bit her earlobe between his teeth and moaned, "I just have to say one more thing."

He grabbed her cheeks in his hands and hushed, "I love you" across her lips.

"I love you too. Now, please. Show me."

"If I showed you all the ways I imagined us spending this time, Cora, we would be here into next week," he groaned and began nipping at her neck.

"Then it will be an improvement on my last week," she moaned as she ran her hands down his back.

They were not seen until tea time the next day.


	6. Chapter 6

**This contains mild spoilers for late season six. I own nothing. It's short but I just wanted to update. I have no ideas but this moment popped into my head walking home the other day. Anyway:**

Cora sat at her vanity table facing the connecting dressing room door impatiently with her feet planted to the floor, leaning forward with her hands on her knees. The moment she heard the turn of the knob she rose swiftly from the chair. Before Robert had stepped two steps in the room, she squeezed his shoulders and placed a singular firm kiss against his lips. She pulled back and smiled coyly.

"And good evening to you too," his surprised voice amused her. He ran his hand under her chin and his inquisitive eyes met hers, darkening when her hands smoothed over his chest.

"Yes, it is," she agreed and fingered the material of his dressing robe, tugging it inch by inch to reveal his pyjama clad torso. "I've been meaning to tell you all day," she murmured as she untied the knot of his dressing gown, "how you are such a good and kind-hearted man." She ran her hands up his body from where the knot came undone until she could link them around his neck.

"You've only been waiting today to tell me that? And not, say the last thirty five years we have been married?"

"Don't make me take it back," she admonished as she withdrew her arms from around his shoulders, trying to sound stern. The way her lips coiled, threatening to break into a smile gave her away. He rolled his eyes and smiled before attesting, "I have no doubts that you'll need to," then pulled her against him to kiss away her smirk.

"You're sure of yourself."

"It's definitely a confidence boost when a beautiful woman basically jumps on you the moment you walk into a room and tells you about how wonderful she thinks you are."

"Well, you are," she whispered as she ran her finger against his chest coquettishly.

"Not that I'm complaining, and it would be hard to with your close proximity, but why are you suddenly so adamant on vocalizing your positive opinions of me?"

"Because of this afternoon. It was so nice of you defending Mrs. Patmore to Carson. It meant so much to her that you would do that. And how you insisted we all have luncheon at her "house of ill-repute" as it has come to be known as a way to thank her for all she has done for us," Cora explained as she scraped the skin on his neck with her fingernails, "well I don't think I've ever seen the woman look quite so delighted and grateful."

"Well it is the right thing to do. We can't have her investment come to nothing because of her unfortunate first guests."

"No we can't," Cora agreed.

Robert grasped her hands in his and placed them against chest. "You're not worried about the reputation we might get if we are seen there?" He teased.

Cora giggled and then lowered her voice. "You and I already have quite the reputation, it seems."

"Oh? What's that?" he pretended not knowing what she was referring to.

"The reputation that we aren't proper enough to sleep in separate rooms. Everybody knows."

"Well, if they really want to think us improper, maybe you and I should check into a room tomorrow. I'm sure Mrs. Patmore would accommodate us."

"That's a tempting prospect," she agreed.

"But?"

"We are going to help Mrs. Patmore change the ill reputation of her bed and breakfast. Believe me, if you and I stayed there, there would be nothing but talk of all the things Lord and Lady Grantham did in bed and how they never even came down for breakfast. Now, I don't think that would help Mrs. Patmore. Do you?"

"No, you're right. Fortunately for us, we can do whatever we please here," Robert replied, nuzzling her neck and placing kisses across it as he spoke.

"Whatever we please," she confirmed and moaned as he began nipping the skin by her collarbone. "In the bedroom of Lord and Lady Grantham; another place that has its own ill-repute."

"Yes. But I don't want to do anything to change that reputation."

"And please don't," she whimpered as the fullness of his hands roamed her back and settled against her bottom. She raked her fingers through his hair as their lips locked together.


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter lacks the fluff of previous ones. I own absolutely nothing.  
**

He had been looking for Cora all over house and finally found her in her upstairs sitting room. The room was dark, the sun already set so light was no longer filling through the windows, reflecting light off the yellow walls. He almost didn't see her. Turning to leave, he heard the unmistakable sound of guttural crying – the horrible deep sound rasping through her throat. The sound sent his stomach to the floor.

"Cora?"

She choked and tried to quiet herself but she couldn't stop her uneasy breathing. Curled on the floor in a ball at the end of the couch, she ran her hands across her face and through her disheveled hair that O'Brien would have comments on later. Robert's legs moved of their own accord and he sat down next to her. He immediately reached for her hand but their contact was blocked by a crumpled up piece of paper.

"Cora? What's happened?"

Craning her neck to look at him, he noticed the way her lips trembled and she shook. She attempted a deep breath but only choked on the air.

"Cora? Please. You're scaring me."

"Lady Jarvis wrote," she managed to sob, pressing the letter from her palm into his. Her head fell so her forehead was resting in the crook of his neck. She heard the crinkling sound of Robert smoothing the letter she balled up moments before he entered the room. Then, the room was silent except for the sounds of Cora's attempts to steady her breathing into his collarbone as he read.

"It's terrible," Robert sighed. "To lose her youngest son and her nephew in one day. And so close to Christmas."

"So – so much loss. It's all I read," she took a deep breath. "Every day. Brothers, nephews, cousins… sons."

Robert squeezed his arm around her waist. "My dearest," he tried to comfort her – not knowing what to say. He squeezed her hand in her lap. "We can only pray for it to be over soon."

"I do pray. Every day. I don't want to write any more condolences to these families – expressing how sorry I am and how I can't even begin to imagine the loss of a son," she sniffled. "I know it's not the same but I feel like I do understand that loss and pain. I can't very well write that to all these families mourning their sons. But it's a reminder to me every time I write. I can't help it."

"I know," he whispered sadly as he kissed her hair.

"They _knew_ their sons."

Robert squeezed her hand tighter in her lap and moved them to her stomach. "I wish we could have known ours," his regretful voice broke as he continued, "you are the only one who can imagine how much."

"He would have been born around now," she whispered fragilely, barely audible to him beside her. "As much as I pray that everyone's son will come home safely for Christmas, it kills me that ours never can."

"We loved him, Cora. Don't feel guilty envying others for all they have, please. I envy them too. He was our son," he pulled her into his embrace.

"Our son," she cried and pressed her chin into his ribs. They held onto each other and cried quietly until the dressing gong broke the silence. Robert choked back tears and looked down at Cora.

"Cora. That's the gong to change for dinner."

"I am anything but hungry."

"I know, darling," he sniffled. "Me too."

They stood from their spot on the floor and grabbed onto each other in a somber embrace. "But we must carry on," she said almost bitterly and stepped away from his arms, pressing her lips together to suppress a sob.

"Carry on _together_ ," he said as firmly as he could. "But I never want to forget him. So please, talk to me about him when you need to. I'm here."

"I will. I know you're here," she nodded and wiped her eyes. "And I'm here too."

He linked his fingers in hers, separating them only so they could part to their own rooms and change.

 **It's amazing how long it takes me to write something this short. I hope it reads okay! xo.  
**


	8. Chapter 8

**Well, two** **updates** **in a day! Definitely a rare occurrence for me.**

"Well, it's just like the Mary I know to make a grand entrance like that," Cora said as she sipped her tea.

She and Robert were having tea in her sitting room late in the afternoon the day of the tenant farmer's luncheon.

"Yes," Robert couldn't help but agree. "It was nice to see her wearing something besides black. I do still worry that she isn't quite up to helping manage the estate. She's still fragile and I don't want her to take on more than she can before she is ready."

"She will never be ready if she carries on doing nothing the way she is now, Robert. She is never going to get over losing Matthew, and I wouldn't want her to, but it's been almost seven months so I am glad to see she's trying to move past it."

"You're right."

"And from what you said she was active in conversations with the farmers and questioning them. I want that for her. Every day I watch her shrink herself into the shell of the woman I know she is capable being. She is so capable and strong and smart. We don't need to protect her from the world. This is good for Mary."

"You sound like Tom."

"There was a time you would have said that as an insult," she smiled at him across the small table where they sat.

Robert let out a breath and paused, contemplating. He reached for her hand resting on the table and covered it with his. "You know I only want what's best for her."

"I know you do," she gripped his fingers in her hand. "You want the best for all the children."

"Speaking of which, why was Nanny West so unsuited to be a nanny?"

"Oh, Robert. It was so terrible. Barrow warned me that she wasn't treating the children properly so when I heard them crying I went to the nursery to see if it was true. She was holding George and yelling at Sybbie to stay away from him and she was calling her the most horrendous names."

"What? What did she call her?"

Cora shook her head. "She called her a chauffeur's daughter and a wicked little halfbreed."

"She's lucky I didn't hear that! Tom is a fine man and Sybil is lucky to have him as her father. How dare that woman! The nerve! Well, you did the right thing."

She didn't respond but just smiled and examined his every move, not taking her eyes off him. Robert set down his tea. "What? What is it?" He asked cautiously.

"You've never said anything that nice about Tom before."

He looked embarrassed. "Well...now. I-"

"Please. It's nice to hear."

"He's been so helpful with Mary over the past months and I can't say how much I appreciate it. None of us could comfort her like he has - he's the only other one who lost a spouse so young."

Cora pushed her tea to the centre of the table. "I'm so glad I don't know how to comfort her in that way. I don't know what I would do without you. I would be inconsolable."

"So would I. Come here," he said.

Cora stood, her lips turning upward in a poorly hidden smirk. She sat down in his lap and he wrapped his arms around her and reached for both of her hands.

"When I almost lost you three years ago, I swore I would never take you for granted and always appreciate what we have. You are so important to me," he spoke before he brought her hand up to his lips to kiss it.

Cora repeated his actions, kissing the back of his hand. "You are so important to me too. Important is not strong enough of a word. You are vital to me."

"You've always been better with words than I am," he gently pinched her side. "But it's not a competition. You are vital to me. I can't help but feel lucky - not only that I married you but for how many years we have spent together. It breaks my heart that Mary and that Tom did not have that with the people they loved."

"I know. It breaks my heart too. I only hope they can fall in love again."

"I don't know if that's possible. I hope it is for them. I know it wouldn't be for me," Robert spoke.

"I would want you to," Cora said after a moment.

"Cora..."

"No, I would not want you to feel guilty if something happens to me. I would want you to be happy - and I know Sybil and Matthew would only want Mary and Tom to love again."

"I will never love anyone like I love you."

"Robert," she bit her lip. "Me too." She settled herself more comfortably in his lap. "My goodness. Listen to us..."

Robert wiped away a tear that fell from his eye. "A pair of saps."

"We are. Let's not think about all that could happen and be grateful for the days we spend together."

"And the nights," he chuckled lowly in her ear.

"Robert! You've always known how to ruin a moment."

"I'm sorry, darling. But I am grateful for both."

"Me too," she admitted then whispered, "And you didn't ruin the moment."

"No?"

"No," she said, shaking her head as she turned in his lap to face him. "You've just created another."

"Well, I missed you last night. I was tempted to wake you up this morning for a good morning kiss but I knew you got in late last night."

"Very late."

"And Mrs. Hughes and one of the maids are sleeping in the nursery until we find a new nanny?"

"Yes. Thank goodness," Cora answered.

"Yes, thank goodness. That means you can stay up very late with me in our room."

"You're awful," she groaned and swatted his chest.

"Awfully irresistible?" he questioned as he swept his lips across the sensitive skin below her ear.

"You know it's hard to resist when you do that," she sighed as his teeth nipped her ear lobe and his hands ran up her sides. She leaned in to kiss him softly, "but we must."

"Must we though?"

"Oh, I do think so. It's the middle of the afternoon and we will surely be interrupted," she kissed him once more before climbing out of his lap. "And before you say we can make it quick," she began and held her hand out to help him rise from the chair, "I don't want it to be quick. There will be time tonight. Like you said, you wanted a late night. Now I do too because we need a late night for the things I have planned."

Robert smiled and pulled her against him with the hand that was in hers. "I have plans myself, you know."

"Oh, I suspected as much. So it will definitely be a long night. And we don't have time right now."

"I'm going to have a hard time looking at you with a normal face over dinner."

"Just sit there and think of England. Oh, I suppose that won't work for you. Think of America."

"That will only make me think of you."

"Well, good because I know I'll be thinking of you," she said naughtily.

"Yes but your thoughts aren't as obvious to others as mine are," he whined and sat back down. Cora smiled triumphantly as she spotted the hint of his arousal.

"You poor man," she hummed. "Well, I best not make things harder for you," she laughed. "I'll see you at dinner."

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review and stuff if you please! :) uploading off my semi broken phone is a pain and a half and I need a new one. so I apologize for any mistakes.


	9. Chapter 9

**thanks to anyone who reviewed! i appreciate knowing that you have read and more if you enjoyed. This drabble had absolutely no plan I just sat down and wrote ... writing is funny like that.**

"Are you looking forward to a London season? It has been years," Cora asked Robert needlessly as he shut the dressing room door and sat down in the arm chair near her vanity. She knew what his answer would be.

"I can't pretend to be but it will probably be our last."

"Unless you have another young rebellious niece I don't know about. It's about time Rose is presented," Cora snickered as she finished applying the creams to her hands.

"She certainly has had no trouble presenting herself in the past," Robert added. She noticed a glint of amusement in his eyes, giving away the disapproval in his voice.

"She has always been a bit of a wild child," Cora laughed as she stood from her chair and walked behind were he sat. "Though I don't think being presented will stop that. I do look forward to meeting the man who is her match."

Robert hummed in consideration as he felt Cora's hands on his shoulders. He could smell the cream she just applied, as she did every night. The smell was so familiarly Cora – but more than anything it always brought to mind moments like these spent together in their room – the calm at the end of a day. She kneaded into the skin at his collarbone, across his neck and across his shoulder blades. Every once in a while, her fingers would comb through his hair before returning their attention to rubbing away any tension she felt under his coarse skin.

He sighed in appreciation. It wasn't rare that Cora did this, but Robert couldn't help but suspect she had some ulterior motive. He craned his neck backward until she came into view behind him, causing her hands to slide forward across his chest.

"Yes?" she simpered down and pressed her lips against his now-exposed neck. "What is it?" she whispered innocently.

Robert circled his fingers around her wrist, drawing her hands off his chest and kissed one. "I could ask you the same question. There's something you need."

Cora pulled back, releasing his hold on her. She chuckled.

"You know me so well."

"I like to think so," he boasted and tapped on his shoulder expectantly. Cora rolled her eyes and continued massaging him. "So, are you going to tell me what it is?"

"I just don't want there to be any upset over the Teapot Dome scandal when mother and Harold arrive."

"Why should there be?" he asked. "It was a while ago and he only got a reprimand."

"I know but Harold won't be too pleased to be here and he is likely being dragged here by mother to get away from all the consequences of it all. It's a sore spot and even though you went there to help, they likely won't remember that they should appreciate what you did."

"I still don't think I made a difference in the outcome," he groaned as her fingers worked the muscles in his neck.

"You travelled across the ocean at a moment's notice because they needed you to be there and all because of Harold's mistake. You went for an undetermined amount of time and you did it all without complaint even though you didn't want to go. I think that deserves appreciation."

"Well, I did get your appreciation when I returned," Robert looked up at her, unable to hide his mirth.

"Yes," she bit down on the skin of her cheek, trying to remain serious as memories of his homecoming came to her mind. "But I'm not expecting them to acknowledge that you sacrificed weeks of your time for them."

"For _you_ ," he corrected. "And I think they know that."

"That doesn't make a difference."

"It does to me," he insisted. Robert rose from the chair, feeling the loss of her touch as her hands feel from his shoulders. He grabbed her hands once again when he was face to face with her. "The only reason I went was for you. I know it sounds like I don't care about your family which isn't true but I would not have done it if I knew you didn't need me to go. I went because of my love for you and your love for me was what got me through it. So please, the only appreciation I need is yours," he declared as he rubbed her cheek with his thumb.

"So it will be a peaceful London season then?" she hoped.

"Well, you know as well as I do that I can't promise that but I do promise not to mention the other thing."

"Thank you," she tiptoed up to kiss him briefly on the lips.

"At least not to them," he said mischievously.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, as ghastly as the whole scandal was, I would be lying if I said I didn't like how it has brought us together. Aside from those weeks apart, it lead to some unforgettable time spent together when I got back. And now, months later, it still results in my beautiful giving me a back rubs. So while I won't mention it to your mother or brother, I don't want you to forget."

Cora gave him an incredulous look as he approached their bed. "So this is emotional blackmail?"

"Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer 'new found opportunity'."

"Robert!" she scolded as she climbed into bed. "I'm tempted to make you sleep in your dressing room."

"I know you're not."

"Oh? And how can you be sure?"

"You just climbed into bed with me," he pointed out. "And I know you. I know your dressing room tone and believe me, that was not it."

"I know. Besides you can't blackmail someone into doing something they already want to do, can you?"

"Exactly," Robert said smugly. He shuffled to her side of the bed and kissed her cheek.

"I won't be able to resist you in uniform anyway," she giggled as he trailed ardent kisses across her neck.

"I knew I liked the London season for a reason."

"And if you do as I asked," Cora said, "You may discover a couple more."

"Well, if that's the case, I can pretend to be excited."

Cora giggled and climbed on to him. "You don't have to pretend," she giggled. Her hand reached into his trousers. "I know you are."

* * *

I want to write more. I need ideas :) xoxo have a great day/night!


	10. Chapter 10

**This drabble is a little different and isn't connected to a story line (except for one if you look closely enough). It may be pointless but I'm procrastinating doing work because this is more enjoyable. Happy early valentines!**

Robert passed O'Brien as he walked towards Cora's bedroom. He nodded curtly at her with a neutral expression as he reached to open the door. Cora knew it must be Robert since O'Brien just left and anyone else in the house would knock first.

"Good morning, my darling," Robert smiled and joined her in the bed as she ate her breakfast.

"Good morning, my darling _Valentine_ ," Cora amended and popped a piece of toast in her mouth.

"Don't mention that to the girls," Robert warned.

"I think the girls are aware that you're my valentine," she flirted as she reached over to brush his arm with the hand that wasn't holding her tea.

"Funny," he said and placed his hand on top of hers between them. "But seriously, Cora. I envy the fact that you get to have breakfast up here alone sometimes."

"Why? What's happened?"

"It's not a pleasant way to begin your day getting caught in the middle of three young women bickering back and forth."

"What is it this time?"

"Well, Sybil brought up Valentine's day and how it's unfair that she can't have a Valentine until she is properly presented. Mary made a snide comment in Edith's direction that being presented doesn't guarantee a Valentine. Then she continued on saying how she would have a great Valentine's day if she wasn't being forced off to boring cousin Patrick and how it was a shame he wasn't forced off to the only boring Crawley sister. Luckily, I was done eating at that point so I could leave but I only heard more arguing as I left. I think they're all bitter that they can't have the valentine's day they might like."

"That does sound unpleasant. I would talk to them," Cora sighed, "but I don't think it would help."

"Likely not. Like I said, I think we best not talk about Valentine's Day at all around the girls."

"Perhaps you should have had breakfast up here with me," Cora laughed as she set her now empty tray at her feet.

Robert scoffed, "Carson would disapprove. I can hear his booming voice insisting, 'it's not the way things are done' if I requested a tray up here too."

"We could do it without his approval. I don't think he approves that you sleep in here either," she giggled as she rose from the bed to put on her dressing gown.

"I do more than just sleep in here," Robert reminded her. She glared at him with humour glinted in her eyes.

"Is that so?" she demanded with her hand on her hip.

"Yes," he assured her and pecked her lips. "I spend quality time with the woman I love."

"That argument, while affective on me, won't help change Carson's opinion," Cora smiled then pulled to ring for O'Brien so she could change.

"I only meant that I spend time with you that I otherwise wouldn't! I don't understand how married couples don't share a bedroom. This bedroom is where we share so much of our marriage. Falling asleep with you after talking is my favourite part of the day. And I know that if yours wasn't the first face I saw in the morning, I wouldn't be a happy man."

Cora kissed him tenderly, savouring the taste of him. She held onto him for a moment longer than she normally would after she called her maid. "Strong talk for an Englishman," she kissed him again but briefly.

"Well, it is Valentine's Day," he explained and pulled her against him.

"So, I have Cupid to thank for making you vocal about your affections for me."

"Yes. So you'll be my Valentine?" he asked and ran his hand up and down her side and raised his eyebrows in a way he hoped made his offer appealing.

"Yes," she nodded slowly but with enthusiastic expression. "But only behind these walls. I don't want the girls to be reminded that they don't have a valentine."

"So I can't kiss you in the drawing room?" he whined as he kissed her jaw. He felt her shake her head. "How about the library? Or in the gardens?" he offered as he placed wet kisses on her neck.

"Afraid not."

"Pity."

She chuckled. "Pity, yes. But if you do as I request, I can be as vocal about my affections for you as you like. Tonight."

Robert groaned as his kisses on her neck descended to below her collarbone, making Cora moan. His finger tips trailed up and down the bare skin of her arm until goosebumps formed. She shivered and linked her arms under Robert's but just as she began running her hands across his back, a cough interrupted them and made Cora pull away.

"O'Brien. Oh, yes. I rang for you," Cora blushed as she stammered. Robert straightened her nightgown and pressed his lips to her cheek. "We have a deal, valentine," he whispered.

"I can't wait," she mouthed as he walked towards the door, not taking his eyes off of her. Cora laughed under her breath when he stumbled as he reached for the doorknob, missing it by half a foot.

"Are you alright?" she asked, hoping there was more concern than amusement in her voice.

"Oh, yes," he assured her. "Perfectly fine. I just realized there's just a few meetings I had planned that I won't be able to get to today after all. Shame."

"Hmm," Cora said casually. "Maybe you can plans the details for these meetings today so that when they happen everything goes smoothly?"

"Brilliant. Though if I think of the details of the meetings too much, I'll have trouble getting any other work done."

"Well, if there's anything I can do to help," she offered, knowing that Robert had a million images in mind of how she could. She enjoyed subtly torturing him like this when O'Brien was nearby so there was nothing he could do. She knew teasing him paid off for both of them.

"There's not right now. Thank you, darling," he tried to sound normal before he shut the door reluctantly.

He knew shouldn't kiss her like that just before O'Brien came upstairs, but he couldn't help it sometimes. It was so hard to resist her; he absolutely loved just _kissing_ her. He ran his fingers over his lips and thought of her offer. It was going to be a long day. He almost wished that he didn't have to see her during the day so that he wouldn't have to remind himself not to kiss her. Robert forced himself to focus on the estate at least for that morning. When he made eye contact with her across the table at luncheon, he realized how lucky he was. There were so many friends of theirs who tried every day to avoid kissing their spouses because they _preferred_ it that way. He couldn't imagine living like that, he thought, as he studied her across the table. He couldn't stop staring at her and when she looked up, she blushed and forced herself to look at her plate.

They may as well have kissed as openly as they liked as far as the girls were concerned. All three of them rolled their eyes as Cora set down her fork and tried to hide her blush behind her glass. Robert's gaze didn't falter as she looked back at him and smiled. He smiled back.

"It's nice that someone's enjoying this day," Mary groaned. "But really, if Granny were here she would inform you two on how to behave like a normal married couple."

"I don't know what you mean," Robert feigned and winked at Cora.

"Really, Papa," Edith rolled her eyes. "It's not often that I agree with Mary."

"Your Papa and I are normal," Cora defended. "Many married couples in the aristocracy have to pretend every day of their lives. I'm glad we're not among them. Now, eat."

"Well, don't you pretend you belong in the aristocracy already?" Mary snided.

"Mary! What a horrid thing to say to Mama!"

"Thank you, Sybil," Robert smiled. "Your Mama doesn't pretend to belong here. She belongs here. She is your mother, Mary. You are part of her as much as you are of your English family."

"Then hopefully if I'm like Mama, I can enter a forced and loveless marriage that winds up making people sick over luncheon. Excuse me," she dragged herself out of her chair and left the room.

Edith raised her eyes, "You two can be rather nauseating," she seconded. "I heard O'Brien muttering to Thomas about you two in the gallery this morning," she exited the door that Mary did.

"Well at least we have Mary and Edith agreeing with each other about something," Robert joked.

"If you weren't my parents, I would think it rather sweet," Sybil informed them as she made her exit, leaving them exchanging bewildered expressions across the table.

"She's always been the sweet one herself," Robert referred to Sybil.

"She has," Cora agreed. "Oh, Robert. You don't think we are too openly affectionate, do you? Maybe we should be more discreet."

"Certainly not! Our daughters are just being difficult and let's face it, no one wants to see their parents be affectionate but we have never do anything inappropriate. And O'Brien should be more discreet herself about what she sees between us. But, it doesn't bother me. I don't care who knows that I don't sleep in my dressing room where I 'should'. I should be able to sleep beside the only person I love and not be criticized for it. It has never made sense to me that it's seen as more normal to have an affair than lie next to the person you married."

"You're right. We shouldn't be criticized for that." She stood from her chair and walked around the table to where he sat. His outburst-speech affected her more than he knew. "Maybe we should do something we should be criticized for."

She kissed the skin between his jaw and ear and pressed one palm to cup his cheek so he faced her. Her other hand glided freely between his chest and stomach. She traced the outside of his ear with her tongue, "what do you say, valentine?"

"I thought you didn't want to be my valentine outside your bedroom?"

"I don't care. It's Valentine's Day. Also if people are going to say we have an inappropriate relationship any way, shouldn't we at least make the accusation justified?" She kissed across his cheek towards his lips.

Robert smiled, "what do you propose?"

"Kiss me everywhere," she said quietly and sat on his lap in the chair.

"Everywhere around the house or everywhere - on you?" He closed the gap between their mouths and kissed her before she could reply, wrapping an arm around her.

"You can kiss me anywhere around the house and everywhere in the bedroom," she breathed when their lips parted.

"Just when was the last time you had a proper tour of the house?"

"You are so clever and cute, Robert Crawley," she laughed against his chin.

"I'm so glad you're mine, valentine," Robert smirked. He pulled his arms around her waist, pulling her closer in his lap. "Do you want to stay here?" he asked.

"Hmm, no. I think I would like that tour."

This is what happens when I should be doing other things! Oh well.


	11. Chapter 11

**A short drabble to update.**

Robert watched Cora from the corner of his eye as she flipped to the next page in her book. He loved to secretly observe her reactions as she absorbed the characters in her novel. She would grin when something good happened, nervously bite her lip if something bad happened and widen her eyes if something unexpected happened. He often pretended to be reading as well but really would just secretly admire her; taking advantage of the fact she was too enticed by her literary world and vivid imagination to notice.

Tonight was not one of those nights. She could feel his eyes on her. A rush of butterflies fluttered in her stomach with the knowledge that his gaze was focused on her. She reread the same line for what seemed like the sixth time before she turned her page. She pursed her lips and scanned her eyes across the words but their meaning wouldn't process. She drummed her fingers against the page, comforted by the sound in an otherwise silent room.

"Not enjoying the book?" he asked.

"What makes you say that?"

"You just seem distracted."

"I might be," she rolled on to her side to face him, "because you've been staring at me."

Robert took the book from her hands and set iot on his bedside table. "I like to watch you," he admitted as he mimicked her action; lying on his side to face her. "It doesn't usually seem to distract you."

"No. Usually I would be distracted with more than just your eyes on me," she said as she adjusted her pillows, embarrassed, in an attempt to avoid making eye contact with him.

"Cora..." he hesitated.

She gulped and hid her face under her pillow. "Things have changed between us, haven't they? The war has changed everything. And I feel like it's my fault."

"What? Cora, no," he exclaimed. He lifted the pillow off her face and stared down at her. He squeezed the skin above her wrist and asked, "How could it be your fault?"

"Are you saying it's yours?"

"No. I'm saying that it's been a dreadful, uncertain and devastating couple years for the whole country. This house has been in disarray and we've both been trying to keep everything together. I think maybe we both forgot about us," he ran his fingers across her wrist and into her hand. She squeezed his hand and looked up at him sadly.

"I don't know how to be like we were," she realized.

"Oh, darling. I think so many people feel that way right now. About the war, about the meaning of the sacrifices that were made and about how aspects of life were different for everyone before the war. Things have changed. I know I don't always embrace change well and I wish I was more adaptable sometimes," he paused. He looked into her eyes as he whispered, "I only know with absolute certainty there's one thing in my life that has no flexibility; and that's my love for you. The war may have tested us, Cora, but that will never change."

"I've missed you," she said regretfully. She reached up to stroke his cheek with her fingertips. "I know that my love for you won't ever change either but I feel like it's different," she continued. "We're different."

"Different is just another word for change," he rebutted.

"Well, don't you think things are different between us?"

"Yes," he couldn't argue.

"See? And even though I know I love you, I find myself pining for the way we used to be. I don't know what to do find that ease between us again."

Robert pulled his arms around her and shifted her so her head was resting against his shoulder. "I don't know either," he admitted. "I think this is a good start," he combed his fingers through her hair.

"It just makes me feel numb now, thinking about the war. It's over and I am relieved and even though I was anxious to get the men out of the house, I think that was my distraction. The distraction was a good thing in some ways but I also think it kept me from you. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize for that. Everything you and the girls did was incredible. I wasn't the easiest person to approach even if you had been focused on doing so," he said somberly. Cora grabbed his hands in hers and settled them between their bodies.

"Well, no more distractions, Robert. Let's promise right now to focus on this. On us."

"I promise. No distractions. Although..."

"Yes?" she looked at him, puzzled.

"Didn't you say something before about me distracting you with more than my eyes?"

Cora laughed. "Alright, that can be the one exception."

Robert cupped her cheeks in his hand. He peppered her lips with delicate kisses, gently introducing his tongue. His hands fell to her waist and he pulled back to look at her, his hands firm at her sides. Her eyes were glazed over and his glistened back when she whispered, "distract me some more."

Robert settled her onto her back and eased his weight onto her. "There's nothing I would like to do better."

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Happy Valentine's Day!


	12. Chapter 12

**This is a little different. I wrote it waiting for a bus that took forever to come/on the bus. I hope you enjoy :D**

Robert knew he should force himself to get up and walk around the deck before bed. He was feeling restless - the excitement of being on the way home but still days away made him feel that much more restrained. He rose from the small dingy bed in his cabin, one that made his dressing room bed seem appealing, and sighed. Three more nights of sleeping in this bed while the seas raged on to remind him of where he was and he would be home in his bed. Cora next to him.

Oh, he missed her.

He wondered what she would be doing right now. He imagined she would have finished dinner and have gone through with the ladies, sitting, talking. He missed the way her eyes always light up at him when the men join the ladies.

Robert walked to the rail and stared out at the water. He stood there for probably twenty minutes until he saw movement in the corner of his eyes. He felt someone approaching him.

"You look like you've seen better days," slurred a drunken American accent.

"I've seen worse but definitely better," he said cautiously.

"Then you could do with a drink! Damn prohibition," the woman cursed. "England has that going for it. If I must visit family there then now seems an opportune time."

"It's not the drinks I am looking forward to when we get to England," Robert admitted and fidgeted with his wedding ring.

"Oh!" she giggled. "The Mrs."

Robert chuckled. He wasn't used to people not knowing who he was and it was odd to hear someone referring to his wife with informal titles.

"Yes," he nodded.

"See, that's another reason I'm glad to travel to London. I don't think there's a clearer message one can give to a lover than to ship across the ocean. Maybe he will finally know we're done."

"Ahh, but there's nothing like absence to make the heart grow fonder. Right?"

"I would have to be fond of him in the first place," she said darkly. When Robert didn't answer her but just stared at the dark horizon, his right fingers delicately tracing his ring, she raised her eyebrows. "You really miss her," she realized.

"More than I could explain."

She released an audible breath. Her fingers clinked against the metal railing where they now both stood - staring at the crashing waves.

"What's she like?"

"She's the kindest, sweetest and warmest woman I've known. She is the reason I am who I am. She makes everyone in her life feel important - especially me and she always knows what to do when I don't. She just makes everything better. I miss her so that it hurts," Robert rambled before letting go of the rail, embarrassed, brushing imaginary dust off himself awkwardly. "I am sorry," he coughed. "I may have had too many drinks at dinner."

"Don't apologize. I asked. It's nice to hear talk of real love. I've been questioning its existence lately. I've been trying to find it but it seems an impossible task."

"It's worth looking for. And holding onto."

"How long have you been married?"

"Thirty two years," he answered.

"You've been holding onto her for a while then," she joked.

"I am lucky to say that I have been. And will be," he said longingly.

"What's her name?" she asked curiously.

"Cora," he answered, the sound of her name comforted him but at the same time, it made him miss her more.

"Ooh, doesn't that mean heart or something? "Couer" in French means heart."

"I don't think so but that would be fitting. She has a heart like no one else," he said fondly. "And she definitely has mine. If I didn't know that before being shipped away from her, I certainly do now."

"That is so sweet. But, if you don't mind me asking, why did you go to America without her?"

"I had some family troubles," he answered.

"Family? You don't sound very American," she wondered.

"Oh, no. My wife is American. Her family needed my help."

"Well, I won't pry."

Robert was amused by her drunken logic - she didn't seem to mind prying up until that point. He didn't mind, oddly. There was something easier about talking to people you didn't know about personal matters. "Well, thank you. And I wish she could have come but she couldn't get away from the house."

"I see. But you'll see her soon," she slurred.

"It's the only thing getting me through this awful voyage."

"I'll bet she misses you," she assured. "There's no way she couldn't with the way you talk about her."

"I hope she doesn't feel this way. I feel wretched and I don't feel myself without her, silly as that may sound."

The young woman didn't respond right away, probably because she couldn't think of anything to say. Robert reached into his breast pocket and took out a picture of Cora that he carried. He could scarcely see it under the dim lights on the docks.

"Is that her?" she asked, holding her hand out for the picture.

"Yes, that's Cora," he handed her the small picture.

"She is beautiful."

"She is," Robert agreed. "This picture doesn't capture her beauty though. It's like, I don't know, seeing a postcard of the Statue of Liberty. You don't know how mesmerizing she is until you see her in person. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I've thought that since the first time I saw her. I wish this photograph showed the colour of her eyes. They are the most brilliant blue."

The girl handed him the picture back.

He carefully placed it into his pocket and patted his coat over, almost protectively.

"Thank you," she said rather sincerely.

"What have I done to be thanked?"

"It's just, I came onto this ship not believing that love could last - really last - like the way you describe. I'm sorry that you miss your wife so much but it has opened my eyes. And given me hope," she squeezed his shoulder and before Robert could tell her he was glad, she was already halfway down the ship deck, her slightly drunken walk causing her to veer occasionally from side to side.

Robert stood in his spot, his thoughts still consumed with Cora but also now of how lucky they were. Not many people married thirty two years could raise a young, heartbroken girl's innebriated spirits like Robert had done. And what made Robert feel incredibly lucky and warm, even while standing on the deck past sunset, was that he hadn't even scratched the surface of his feelings for Cora.

He couldn't wait to get home.


	13. Chapter 13

**Silly banter.**

"Thank you, O'Brien that will be all," Cora dismissed her maid as Robert walked through the dressing room door.

"Very good, milady," she complied. "Milord."

"What a night," Robert chuckled. "I think Mary enjoyed being the centre of attention."

"That wouldn't be a new phenomenon," Cora jested as she sat down onto the chaise-lounge, picking up her novel from the table beside it.

"No, it wouldn't," Robert smiled. "Although I think she enjoyed the attention of Mr. Pamuk the most."

"Poor Mr. Napier," Cora fretted. "It is a shame. He's a nice man and Mary seemed so fond of him before he arrived."

"You mean before Mr. Pamuk arrived," he chided.

"I suppose so," she nodded and flipped to the page she last read.

"I heard him muttering to Matthew in the drawing room about how everyone else seems to like him so much and that he was a fool to bring him along."

"He did seem to pull Mary's attention away from Mr. Napier and Cousin Matthew," she agreed.

"I think he pulled all of the lady's attention," Robert said under his breath.

Cora looked up at him with a quirked eyebrow behind her book but she wouldn't bite. "Well a foreigner always makes an interesting guest at a dinner party," she licked her finger to flip her page. She noticed a flicker of jealousy in Robert's eyes earlier after Pamuk kissed her hand when they returned from the hunt, but she didn't think much more would come of it.

"So you thought he was interesting?"

"Didn't you?" she asked coarsely.

"I wouldn't say so. Not in the same way you might," he brusquely chided as he threw his dressing gown over the foot of the chaise lounge.

"Robert," she scolded. "I assure you that I didn't find him any more interesting than you."

"Really? Not even when his looks are the talk of the whole house? The female staff has been especially giddy according to Bates."

"Not even then, Robert. And I must point out that it is you, not I, who is harping on his looks."

He stared at her, defeated, as he plopped his weight dramatically down on the bed.

She continued, "Obviously you are the one who finds him attractive. He's showed no more interest in me than any other male guest who attends dinners at this house. And yet, you're dwelling on him."

"That isn't true," he said petulantly.

"Oh, I think it is," she contradicted as she sat up from the chaise lounge. "Because there has never been a man whose looks came close to matching yours."

"You're flattering me."

"Well, fine. If you don't think it's true, let's talk about Mr. Pamuk all night. If you prefer?" she leaned over the bed and hovered near his lips. "What is it about him, Robert, that makes you unable to get him off your mind?"

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Maybe I was a little jealous."

She smirked triumphantly and walked around the bed to her side. "It's flattering that you would be jealous. With all the young ladies in the house, I can't imagine him paying me any attention."

"Maybe you need glasses," he offered as he pulled the bed sheets over him.

"Oh, so you agree that I am old?" she pulled the covers towards her.

"That is not at all what I meant."

"No?"

"If you can't see that you're without argument the best looking woman under this roof, then maybe your vision needs correction."

"You're biased."

"Hmm," he considered. "Maybe we should ask Pamuk after all."

"You wouldn't."

"It would be impossible to get an honest answer out of him anyhow. He's a diplomat and an apparent peace keeper."

"Well, he doesn't seem too concerned about keeping the peace between him and Mr. Napier," Cora sighed. "I hope their trip doesn't put him off Mary."

"Or put Mary off of Mr. Napier," Robert added.

"His looks don't compete."

"So you admit it!"

"Oh, Robert – drop it! I think any woman off the street could make that conclusion. Even O'Brien commented that Mr. Pamuk was handsome."

"Even O'Brien?"

"Well, she never does seem to remark on these things. Now that I think about it," Cora realized.

"That is professional of her, at least," he said passive aggressively. Cora rolled her eyes. She had long accepted that he would never like O'Brien.

"Well," Cora sighed. "Mary is going to have to choose someone to marry. I don't think it will be Mr. Pamuk," she laughed slightly at the thought. "So, maybe we will see more of Mr. Napier around."

"Maybe but you never can predict what Mary will do."

"No. You can't."

"She's rejected the idea of Matthew," he stated but it was more like a question.

"Without a doubt. I still think she's confident that we can smash the entail."

"It's unbreakable. Matthew will be the heir. I'm afraid there is no way around that," he was tired of discussing this.

"Darling, I know. I'm just talking. I can't imagine her marrying a man she didn't love to get what she believed was rightfully hers."

"You mean like I did?" he said bitterly.

"Certainly not," she defended. "We were different. Besides, you would never marry a man to save the estate. Well, maybe there's one man you might consider."

"Really, Cora! Can you stop accusing me of that?"

"You started it when you came in here," she proclaimed with mirth.

"You're right."

"I know. His looks have distracted our daughter from potential suitors tonight. But he won't be here long. I still think that Matthew could be a contender, he's polite, he's intelligent and even though he's an outsider, I think he could adapt to our way of life. It would be the easiest answer, much like ours was," she began and rubbed his knee as she spoke. "And our marriage is proof that love can grow if it's meant to be."

"You think Mary and Matthew are meant to be? It doesn't seem so to me," he reproved.

"Do you remember how many people said that about us? You included!"

"Well, I was young, stupid, and far from sensible. I didn't know left from right."

"Exactly. I definitely would not describe Mary as sensible right now. But, I do know that she can be very pragmatic. I say it could only a matter of time; she still is quite young. She has some time left for stupidity herself."

"Perhaps. If she's anything like her foolish father, it will take her an absurd amount of time to realize."

"So, there's hope," she laughed.

"I like to hope she will be more like her mother," he rolled on his side to face her. "You loved me from the beginning," he said slightly arrogantly. "But, in this case – if that's anyone's part it's Matthew's."

"I think you're right," she realized. He did seem to have been vying for Mary's attentions that night along with Mr. Napier against Pamuk.

"What was that?" he asked.

"I said I think you may be ri-," she stopped. "Very funny."

"I'm sorry, my dear. It's just I so rarely get to hear that."

"Well, you're right about that," she flirted.

"Oh, stop," he insisted. "It doesn't count when you're teasing."

"You're right," she whispered in agreement, trying not to laugh.

He glared at her, his eyes piercing across at hers before he lunged over and smacked his lips to hers. He pulled back and looked down at her expectantly. She gladly responded, "Yes, you're right about that too," and eagerly pulled him on to her.

 **I just watched this episode and there was definitely not enough Robert/Cora in it.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I wrote this originally as a drabble on tumblr, but thought it would fit as a chapter in this story.**

"Cora? Are you coming to bed?" Robert asked carefully.

Robert entered the library; her frustration palpable in the air. Lately she had been going to bed later than him, but tonight was particularly late. She rustled through papers on her desk and was scribbling somewhat aggressively onto a loose sheet.

"Just a few more minutes. I want to organize new visiting hours to make everyone happy. The hospital really can't have people coming and going all the time, so I'm trying to find a time that works for everyone. The problem is that I can't seem to - and I promised," she explained.

She rubbed her eyes and sighed.

"Cora.." he said slowly and walked toward her desk. "It's really late, darling."

"I know," she snapped. She flipped a document over and began reading it. Robert didn't say anything more but she felt his eyes roving over what she knew must be her tired features. "I'm sorry. I just want to do this -"

With understanding laced with worry in his tone he encouraged, "You will. Just maybe not in the dead of night, straining your eyes and hunched over your desk? I'm worried about you."

"But I promised everyone I could, Robert, and now I really don't know if there is an answer to make everyone happy. I don't want to let them down."

He exhaled. "Cora - you won't. You are the most caring and compassionate worker that hospital has ever seen. And I'm not just saying that because my mother used to run it," he attempted to make her smile.

It worked somewhat. He saw a twitch at the corner of her mouth before she opened a desk drawer, looking for something else.

"No matter what I do, someone will be let down," she cried. "It breaks my heart when all they want is to visit their family member at their time of illness. I want to do more…"

"Sweetheart, they know that. Trust me. When Rose took me to see you speak around Christmas, I couldn't help but notice that you made them all feel at ease. You took everyone's questions and answered them with thought and consideration. You were approachable, kind and really radiated just - plain goodness. You don't have anything but their best interest at heart and it was obvious to everyone in that room."

Cora craned her neck up at him, gratitude glimmering in her eyes. She looked so worn as she choked, "really?"

"Really," he assured. "I felt so proud, and so in love with you, at that moment. And look at you now! How many other people at the hospital would stay up this late, trying to make sure every patient will be happy? All from the goodness of your heart."

"They deserve to visit their loved ones," she insisted.

"Absolutely, they do. And I have a feeling that you will find a solution. But not at the expense of your own well being. I need you to take care of yourself, my dearest. You mustn't worry about letting anyone down because there is no one who could possibly accuse you of doing it on purpose or not caring. You're amazing."

"Thank you," she whispered sincerely, admitting defeat for the night; setting down the pen she was holding onto the desk. "It's so nice, having your approval and support, Robert. It really means so much to me."

He offered her his hand. She took it and rose from her chair.

"Of course, Cora. I was a fool for not supporting you sooner. You're wonderful for the hospital and I know I said it before, but they're lucky to have you and so are the patients and their family."

She squeezed his hand. "I hope so."

"I know so," he kissed the hand he was holding before releasing it to wrap his arm around her waist. "Come to bed."

As they walked through the doorway of the library, she rested her head on his shoulder. "Did you know I'm just as lucky to have you?"

He kissed the top of her head. "Darling, I'm a lucky man if you believe that's true."

"I know it's true!" She squeezed around him with both arms as they approached the landing. "You take such good care of me," she yawned.

"And don't doubt you take such good care of everyone, including me," he hushed against her ear. "Especially me," he corrected.

"Of course I do," she said at the top of the stairs. "Because I love you the most."

He draped his arms around her shoulders and kissed her briefly but tenderly on her lips. He cupped her cheeks in his palms. "Then I am the luckiest man in England, no Europe. Hell - the world because I love you so much too. Now please, let's get some sleep, hmm?"

She nodded and he linked his arm around her; steering her as he always tried his best to do, towards their bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

**If you follow my tumblr, you may have read this already but I haven't updated this fic in a while so:**

"I know plenty of relatives of English Earls who belong in jail," Robert disputed harshly and let his agitated weight fall onto the foot of her side of the bed. One look into her eyes alleviated some of his frustration - the pale blue was glassy as she looked at him delicately. He knew she wanted him to go but didn't want to force him. "I suppose we've made the decision," Robert's defeated tone was much gentler.

Cora pushed her breakfast tray over to Robert's side of the bed. She pushed off her bed covers and crawled to where he sat. "Let's just hope Harold isn't among those who belong in jail," she swallowed. She took the telegram out of Robert's hands, letting it fall to the floor, and covered his hands with hers.

"Well, either way he was a fool to be involved," Robert maintained.

"Robert.." she whispered shakily and let go of his hands. Her attempt to hide her worry from him was unsuccessful.

"I know, darling" he said apologetically and pulled her hands back into his grasp. "I'll do my best so they don't accuse him of being, as you phrased, a wildcat driller. Although, how I can do that, I don't know."

"Well, my mother says you must be there because she knows you can charm just about anyone," she paused. "And I know it too."

"If only that were true," he said, his self-deprecation not hidden from her.

"Oh, it is," she insisted. "In fact, I'm a little worried about all the women you will inevitably charm with that modesty, your big blue eyes, your irresistible accent and strapping shoulders," she cooed as she gripped his shoulders, adjusting herself so her knees hugged the outsides of his thighs.

"I'm more worried about the prohibited alcohol."

"Don't worry, I'm sure Harold can and will supply both booze and floozies," she began picking away imaginary lint off his chest.

"Cora," he said seriously and tilted her chin so he could look at her. "I don't want anyone but you."

"I know," she said with a sad smile. "But - and this is both a good and bad thing - you charm women so easily."

"I only want to charm you," he kissed her lips briefly before resting his cheek against hers and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"You do charm me," she rubbed her cheek against his and squeezed him tightly.

"I have to go," Robert breathed into her ear. He felt her hands firmly sliding up and down his back, not allowing him to stand. It was just as well, since he didn't make any effort to move away from her. He kissed her below her ear, across her neck and down to her collarbone. She felt his fingers trail down her spine and they rested against the small of her back. The thin silk of her dressing and night gown allowing his touch to create tingles up Cora's spine. She shivered.

"Robert," she exhaled and threaded her fingers through his hair. She kissed him slowly but passionately as she squeezed her knees tighter against him. She sunk deeper into his lap, feeling for his arousal.

"You will go as soon as we say goodbye properly," she began to pull his jacket off his shoulders.

"Cora," his hesitation lurked under a deep moan as she moved her hips in circles above him.

"Shhh," she pressed a finger to his lips. He kissed it automatically and tugged on her wrist until their lips met in a heated kiss.

—

Robert combed his fingers through her hair as he lay on top of her. He feathered kisses on her forehead, nose, cheeks and jaw. Her hands were falling up and down his back, feeling every muscle under his coarse, warm skin.

She felt him move suddenly and quickly so hecould rest on his elbows above her, gazing down intently.

"Goodbye," she mouthed.

"No 'bye' from you is ever good," he corrected her. "However the way we just said 'bye' was good. Very, very good."

A laugh caught in her throat before she told him, "I'm going to miss this."

Her fingers played with his chest hair that was still wet with sweat from their exertions. "I'm going to miss so many things about you, Cora," he shook his head. "I don't know where to begin," he kissed her once softly. "But," he continued as he shifted off her and out of bed.

"But?" she asked curiously. "Oh, you're going to miss my butt," she teased.

"No," he answered. "Well, I mean yes however that is not what I -" Cora's giggles stopped his sentence.

"I will miss your laugh too of course," he smiled down at her lying in their bed. "And the way you look in a state of undress," his heated gaze was on her from across the room. He paused. "You are so beautiful," he said gently and almost in disbelief.

She blushed and pulled the sheets around her., admiring him as he stood in a similar state of undress. "So, what is it then?" She demanded.

Robert walked to her vanity table and picked up a small bottle. He raised it to his nose and inhaled. "I want to take this," he said shyly and fiddled it in his hands. "So I can be reminded of you. Not that I'll need to be reminded of you because you will be on my mind constantly. Always, really. But I think having your scent around me will be a comfort," he blushed as he rambled.

"Oh, Robert," she smiled. "That is so sweet." She maneuvered out of bed, forgoing the sheets to cover her and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Of course you may take it," she answered. "As long as you leave me yours. Now," she pecked his lips firmly. "Go pack and meet me downstairs."

All reviews are appreciated. :) I hope to keep updating this at least on a semi regular basis.


	16. Chapter 16

**I miss Robert and Cora. And all of Downton. I own nothing obviously.  
**

 _Come and behold him_  
 _Born the king of angels:_  
 _Oh, come, let us adore him,_  
 _Oh, come, let us adore him,_  
 _Oh, come, let us adore him,_  
 _Christ the Lord._

Cora held onto Edith's hand still as they continued singing and she couldn't hide her wide smile as she looked from Robert to Mary, Tom and Edith. Cora saw Bates sneaking up behind Anna and nodded her head towards them as they kept singing. Robert grinned wider.

 _God of God, light of light,_  
 _Lo, he abhors not the Virgin's womb;_  
 _Very God, begotten, not created:_  
 _Oh, come, let us adore him,_  
 _Oh, come, let us adore him,_  
 _Oh, come, let us adore him_  
 _Christ the Lord._

She felt Robert squeeze her left hand as the song came to a close and looked up at him, surprised to see a tear running down his cheek. She squeezed back and began walking toward and through the crowd of people, toward the drawing room – her hand still in his. She shut the door behind her as she heard everyone begin to sing 'The First Noel' back in the great hall. She immediately pulled him into a tight embrace, leaning her chin on his shoulder.

"Robert," she whispered when she pulled back, rubbing her thumb on path of wet skin where his tear had fallen.

He grabbed her gloved hand and kissed it. "I do hope I haven't spoiled Christmas Eve for you," he teased but it came out sincerely. "I didn't mean to drink so much."

"Yeah, well, I kind of knew that would happen," she admitted, her eyes sparkling up at him. "But don't worry. It's been a perfect Christmas Eve."

"It's not over yet," he smirked and guided her over to the couch in front of the fire. "I may still make a fool of myself in front of the tenants and make everyone uncomfortable."

"Hmm, but I learned tonight that you are so good at hiding the fact you are drunk. I don't think anyone thought you were a fool. Your speech was very moving," she told him and she curled up next to him and wrapped her arms around his. "I could tell you meant it."

"Yes, well as I explained to Tom when we were talking, 'In vino veritas'. So really, we should be thankful I drank or I would not have given that moving and truthful speech either."

She chuckled, "I suppose. But, wait - What did you say to Tom that we need to thank alcohol for?"

Robert paused. "I told him how I've grown extremely fond of him and how he should think of Downton as his home. And I mean it," Robert said shakily.

"Oh, Robert," Cora beamed at him. "Of course you mean it."

Robert found her hands and enveloped them in his, warming her. "He said he will consider Downton his home which would have amazed Sybil."

"Oh, it would have," Cora agreed. She saw Robert's uneasy expression and intertwined her fingers with his. "He will be back, Robert. I know it. He will visit and we can visit."

"I know," he sighed. "I just want to focus on making this Christmas full of good memories for Sybbie and him. And for us."

"Well, I'd say we have a good start. We will make sure tomorrow is wonderful."

"You are wonderful," he smiled. "I can't believe there was ever a time you had to convince me that he should be the agent."

"A lot can change in a few short years."

"Indeed. A lot can change in a year," he added thoughtfully.

"Marigold, you mean?"

"Her too," Robert nodded. "If only that awful business with Gregson hadn't happened, Edith would not have had to hide everything and been through so much agony fighting for her. Gregson was an honorable man and I'm sure we would have come to love him as we do Tom. God, Cora then there's Matthew. I just feel like we're losing another son. I feel like we have lost so many sons. I don't want to lose him," he choked.

"You won't. We won't," she promised and squeezed her hand above his knee. "We won't let that happen."

Robert clutched her hand. "I don't know what I would do without you," he confessed. "And, what I was going to say is, if this year has taught me anything, it's that I need to let you know that. I know I didn't show it this year…"

"Robert. It's Christmas Eve," she hesitated.

"So?"

"So, I don't want you to feel angry or sad when we have already forgiven each other."

"Well, I haven't forgiven myself. So, I just want to promise you that this year you will never have to question that I love you."

"Robert, I – "

But the alcohol had loosened Robert's tongue, making him articulate things that he had trouble doing sober. "

"I mean it. I hate that I made you feel underappreciated and undervalued when you are the most valuable… well that is to say you are _invaluable_ to me. God, Cora, you - you mean everything. I don't even know how to tell you and maybe that's why I didn't. I think it's impossible to actually express the way I feel about you. First of all, whenever you are near me, I just feel so good," he looked at her and shook his head in disbelief. " - 'Good' is not enough to describe it. You are wonderful, kind, unselfish, amazing, and brilliant and I need you near me because you make me so, so happy," Robert babbled and kissed the palm of her hand, "and I feel so lucky."

"You are drunk," she giggled.

"Right, but 'In vino veritas' … remember?"

"I remember. But the question is, will you remember telling me this tomorrow?"

"I will remember how beautiful you look," he answered and leaned into her shoulder before sprawling into a supine position, his head resting in her lap. Cora ran one hand through his hair and reached for his other on his stomach.

"Well, I haven't had nearly as much to drink as you have but I can still promise you this is true: I," she leaned down to kiss his forehead, "love," she kissed his lips, "you," she squeezed their hands together and pulled him back up. "And I think we should go join our daughters and our son and have a very merry Christmas."

He whined a little because he was so comfortable where he lay. "Yes. That sounds wonderful."

"So," Cora stood and looked at him lying below her. "Let's go."

He pulled her down beside him a little more firmly than he meant to; his enthusiasm getting the better of him. "A kiss, first," he said eagerly before pressing his lips ardently to hers. She ran her tongue across his lips before his tongue found hers. Despite their intention to be with their family, they both continued to appease their desire for each other, gently kissing and touching until the drawing room door opened.

"Donk. Donk! Auntie Mary sent me to get you and Granny. Come on, Donk!" and then she was gone, running back to the festivities.

Cora chuckled. Mary knew if there was only one girl that could distract Robert from Cora - his adorable granddaughter.

"You know Robert, the next time she calls Donk at you, she may have an extremely thick American accent. Dank, Dank, DANK," Cora whispered teasingly into his ear before she stood. She offered him her hand and said, "But never mind that now. Let's go be with our children and grandchildren on this lovely Christmas Eve. Then I hope you and I can celebrate and be merry together. Alone. Later."

"Yes, please," he growled into her neck as they reached the drawing room door. "And you know that I'm not opposed to having my name shouted in an American accent..."

"Robert Crawley," she teased in her best English accent.

"No, no, I don't like you like that. I like you American..."

"Oh, you _are_ drunk."

"Drunk. In love. Tomato, Tomato."

"Yes, you say to-mah-to I say to-may-to."

"Yes, because you're American. I say tomato, you say tomato. But I'll say whatever you want me to later," he slurred.

Cora laughed. "Come on. I think someone wants you to say goodnight," Cora nodded as she saw Tom with Sybbie in his arms climbing the stairs.

"Let's go read her Christmas stories, Cora. Please?"

"Okay, but you're going to have to use your soldier concentration voice."

"Oh. Maybe you, Tom, Mary and Edith should do the reading," he thought. "I need to save my concentration for you," he winked.

"And a very Merry Christmas it will be."

 **This sort of soothes my Downton withdrawal. Okay, not really. But I hope you liked it. Reviews are nice but not necessary :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**I own nothing. This is a 'missing scene' from S5E7:**

Robert shut the door behind him, his eyes not leaving Cora. Of course she was worried, he knew. Edith had run away – distraught – her worst fears about Gregson had been confirmed. Cora was wrestling with the bedclothes now, trying to get into a comfortable position again and again but unsuccessful each time.

"Cora," he said warmly and placed a hand on her hip, stilling her. Even with her attempted smile, he could see apprehension pooled in her eyes. "She's going to be alright. She just needed space. She's in London. I'm sure she just wanted to get away from here. Maybe she will treat herself to shopping and fancy restaurants, get a clear head and come home."

"Atticus realized that she is probably at the magazine office. Gregson left it to her, after all."

"I suspect he's right. He seems a bright fellow," he trailed his fingers in circles from her elbow up to her shoulder, his nails lightly scratching her smooth skin. "I think we may have another wedding on the horizon after Lord Merton and Isobel."

"Maybe…" was all she could offer.

Robert planted a firm kiss on her bare shoulder. He sighed. "I'm worried too but I think a little time will help her."

"Well, she's had enough time," Cora said rigidly. "Rosamund and I are catching a train to London tomorrow."

"My Dear, is that necessary? This is Edith we are talking about – she's always been sensible. And Tom let us know that she wasn't hysterical when she left. We know she's in London. I just think she needs time and she will return when she's ready."

"Sensible," Cora scoffed, rolling her eyes. How was hiding then lying about your child sensible?

"She's been through so much, Cora. I know you know that," he squeezed her hand. "God, I just want her to find some happiness."

"That will be more complicated now than ever," Cora spilled.

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously. "I wish Gregson weren't dead but I think knowing what happened will allow her to move past it."

Cora looked blankly toward the foot of the bed. She sighed, "I hope so…" and pursed her lips tightly. Robert knew after thirty four years of marriage that whenever she did this, something was really weighing on her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut and leaned her head back into her pillows.

"Me too. Cora, look at me." She hesitantly shifted her neck to look in his direction, still not meeting his eyes. "Is there anything else bothering you? You have seemed extremely distracted all evening."

"I am just worried about Edith," she lied. Well, it wasn't a lie; it was just half of the truth. She couldn't tell him the reason why.

"Are you sure, darling? I know we will find her. This was just something she needed to do."

"Well, I'm going up there in the morning to talk to her and bring her back," Cora replied curtly.

"If you feel you need to," he eyed her. "But Cora, you seem more upset than, I don't know. I just – are you sure nothing else is wrong?"

"Robert…" she warned.

"You barely touched the Charlotte russe we had for dessert. That is not like you," he continued, the concern in his tone overshadowing any humour. "And your reaction to the wedding news was a little – well, lacking," he said softly as he gently squeezed the skin below her elbow. He let go and swallowed a lump in his throat. "If you don't want to tell me because you're still angry with me, I understand. But I can tell there's something bothering you and I want to know so I can help make it better. Or try to. Please, Cora?" his eyes pleaded. He looked so sincere, staring at her with a delicate, tender expression. She wanted to tell him. She almost did but she couldn't. It was not her secret.

"I -," she stuttered. "I promise it's not you. It's just a mother's instinct, I suppose. You're right that I'm probably worrying more than what is needed," she reached up to rub his cheek and forced a smile at him that didn't quite ease his feeling that something else was wrong.

He pulled her hand of his cheek and kissed across her knuckles. "I don't want anything to come between us again, Cora," he hushed into her skin.

"It won't," she promised.

"So, there's really nothing else?" he asked uncertainly and circled her wrist with his fingers, bringing her hand in his to his chest.

Cora lunged over and rested her body against where their hands lay. "I don't know how else to say it, Robert," she tried to assure him while running her other hand through his hair. "Now, if you really want to make things better – kiss me."

Robert happily complied and brought his lips to hers and pressed her closer to him with his hand on her waist. He smoothed his hand up and down her back before resting it on the small of her back.

"Better? He asked huskily when their lips broke apart.

"Not even close," she countered. She let go of the hand she was holding, guiding it to her chest. He placed his other hand there as Cora positioned herself more comfortably on him. Her lips found the pulse point on his neck and began nibbling and licking his skin. He groaned as her hips moved rhythmically on top of him. "Robert," she groaned throatily as hands squeezed and palmed through her nightgown in time with her squirming hips.

His hands descended to find the bare skin of her leg. He bunched the cotton of her nightgown in his fists and inched his fingers at a tortuous pace until he met her inner thigh. Cora moaned and ripped the material from his hold. She lifted it off her body, delighting in Robert's expression at her exposed upper body.

"Cora," he relished as his eyes roved over her body. "You are radiant," he kissed her collarbone, "Exquisite," his hands found the crook of her waist and sat there firmly. "And just so beautiful," he sighed and grazed his teeth over her nipple before covering it with his lips, wetting the skin; hardening it beneath his tongue.

She let out a long, shaky, warm breath against his neck. "Robert," she whispered. "Please, darling."

"What do you want, Cora?" his resonating groan affected her as much as his tongue on her body. He shifted her body so she lay on her back as his lips lingered on her breasts before descending to her ribs and across her stomach. "Hmmm?"

She couldn't reply. She wanted to tell him to bring her over and over again to a place where she couldn't possibly think or worry about anything or anyone else. Instead, she stalled by thumbing the silk of her undergarments and sliding them down her legs.

"I want this off of you," she managed to reply as she scratched across his torso and began undoing his pajama buttons.

"Your wish is my command," he rumbled before obeying. "Any other wishes, milady?"

She rolled her eyes. "Just stop talking."

But she did get her wish; Robert brought her to a place where she felt content and safe and satisfied. Their love making had not been that passionate or intense for longer than Cora would like to admit and because of it, she was able to fall asleep, her worries temporarily aside, with her arms around Robert. The next morning, she kissed him awake knowing that even if she couldn't tell Robert what exactly her worry was, she knew he was there again. He was there for her and could tell she was upset. She thought back to how concerned he was the night before. She wanted to tell him everything so badly – her dear, dear Robert. They had accidentally slept in, making her have to scurry to catch the train but it was all worth it. She and Robert were just about back to normal and knowing that gave her strength to face the day ahead.

 **Review :) And have a fabulous weekend!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Just a small drabble**

The feeling of his fingers brushing against her skin lingered long after Robert stopped touching her. His touch had to be brief - they were entertaining after all - but nonetheless, he had sent shivers down her body and she failed at hiding her blush. She reached up to touch her cheek where he had and hoped it wasn't the deep shade of red she imagined it was.

She watched him now, walking around the room, talking to his Mama and then to Sir Anthony Strallan. His fingers played with the side of his glass and she watched them intently before scanning his whole body. He didn't seem fully invested in his conversations and he stood so she remained in his line of vision as he moved around the room. Her cheeks prickled again when he looked up and then quickly back down. Her pulse beat noticeably faster as he walked back in her direction.

"Come and visit with me," he offered her a hand. She stood, looking at him suspiciously when he let go of her hand to place his across the middle of her back. There was nothing inappropriate in how he touched her, but she could tell what his intention was; making the seemingly innocent and light touch feel all the more delightful. She wanted him to touch more of her but it was early in the evening still and they couldn't go up yet or disappear without being noticed.

'Patience,' she told herself as Robert guided her over to Anthony Strallan, his fingers moving in tiny circles that no one else could see.

"Oh, I am so sorry again, Sir Anthony. It seems our cook mistook the salt for sugar - and we don't know who switched them on her! Whoever it was will not get away with it," she assured him.

"Really, Lady Grantham, please don't stress. I know what it's like managing staff. Nobody was ill, it was just rather salty," he insisted with a dry chuckle.

"Which was still quite disgusting," Cora offered sympathetically.

"But the rest of the evening has been perfectly charming," he craned his neck around to look for Mary and Edith. "Your captivating daughters have been nothing but friendly and enthralling and I think your husband will agree that a little salt is an easy price to pay if it means spending the evening in the company of such lovely ladies."

"Oh, he definitely would," Robert agreed and tightened his hold on Cora. "I'd do a lot more than eat salty desserts to spend time with one particular lovely lady."

"Robert!" she gasped. "You don't want to make our guest uncomfortable."

"But he hasn't at all. In fact, I admire what the two of you have - even envy it. Maude and I always said that you were perfect from the start. Well, she saw it from the start," Anthony corrected. "And if she were here now, she'd be astounded that you've only become more so."

"Heavens," Robert exclaimed. "She knew before I did then," he winked at Cora.

"I've always known you were perfect," Cora insisted, flirtatiously pressing a finger to his jaw.

"That's why you're the more insightful one of the two of us."

"Well, I don't know about that," she leaned into him. "You _did_ propose."

"And I'd do it again," he declared. "But more personal and less meticulously planned and ... rigidly proper. I can't believe you said yes to my unfeeling and formal proposal."

She giggled, "It wasn't unfeeling."

"Yes, well - Maude and I were shocked that you worked up the courage at all!" Strallan teased. "Excuse me," he exited feeling like somewhat of a third wheel.

"Now I think I made him uncomfortable," Robert realized. "I do hope not."

"I think he's just been newly inspired by our example," she nodded her head to where Edith and Strallan were now chatting. "And if you've made anyone uncomfortable this evening, it's been me."

"You?" he inquired.

"Yes," she reached up to graze his cheek with her knuckle. "I don't think you realize the effect you have on me when you touch me like this."

"Oh, but I do," he rasped quietly to her and removed her hand from his face. Squeezing her fingers between them he questioned, "Why do you think I did it?"

"Because you can't help yourself," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Well, I can't argue with that," Robert stood straight and lowered his eyes attentively, vigilantly watching her expression.

"Good," she managed as his gaze grew heavy across her skin. "I don't want to argue."

"No?"

She shook her head. He reached his fingers to her cheek again - their pads brushing in an alternating pattern with his knuckles. "Then what do you want to do?" he demanded quietly.

"Robert..." she shivered and bit her lip before she regained her composure. "I would like us to very much agree," she said deeply and raised her eyebrows before she walked away slowly. She sat down beside Violet and turned back to see him - staring at her in the spot where she left him. She casually took a drink from Carson.

'Oh yes,' he thought as he brushed behind her a moment later before joining her on the couch. Theydefinitely had a lot to agree on later. For now, he touched her as innocently as he could with it still being appropriate while Cora tried to contain the blush that threatened to take over her face and give them away.


	19. Chapter 19

**What maybe happened between Cora showing Bricker the painting and when Robert basically compared her to a dog :/**

Robert watched from across the drawing room as Bricker scratched behind Isis's ear. The moment Bricker and Cora entered the drawing room after Robert, the dog went straight to him. She wagged her tail but Bricker wasn't really paying her attention. His hand continued scratching back and forth but his eyes remained locked with Cora's, who sat on the couch beside the armchair Bricker occupied.

"She never lets first time guest pat her like that," Cora informed him - a large smile plastered to her face. "She must like you," she added before sipping her coffee.

"They do say not to trust a person if a dog dislikes them so you must be trustworthy then, Mr Bricker," Robert tried to hide his scrutiny and sound casual.

Bricker smirked at Robert as he began scratching under Isis's chin. "I like to think so, Lord Grantham," he said back, a challenge almost detectable in his voice. "What do you think, eh old girl?" he said excitedly to Isis who licked his hand. Cora smiled behind her mug. "You know she reminds me of a dog I had growing up," he told Cora.

"Oh?" she waited for him to elaborate.

"Yes. Beautiful breed, they are. Just lovely. How long have you had her?"

Cora set down her mug on the table beside the couch and leaned in to rub Isis's head. "We got her shortly after the war was announced," Cora answered. Robert noticed how her hand moved to her stomach; whether subconsciously or not, he didn't know. Isis had been a gift from Cora to Robert to help ease the pain of their lost son. That time also coincided with the outbreak of the war which was easier to mention to strangers.

"Ah, then she's older than she looks. Well," he paused. "You'd never know it. She looks in her prime, I'd say."

His eyes danced over Cora for longer than Robert thought appropriate and it made his skin crawl. No one else seemed to notice Mr. Bricker's admiration, however; except Cora. Cora noticed. She tried hiding her blush behind her coffee but it was a wasted effort. Robert clenched his fingers tightly between his knees when he saw Mr. Bricker's fingers brush Cora's as she rubbed behind Isis's ears, back and forth.

"Well, His Lordship does take good care of her," Cora offered - trying to diminish the tension she now felt in the air. She could feel Robert's eyes surveying them and could tell by his clenched jaw that he was uncomfortable.

Bricker faltered for a moment before only smiling in response. He quickly changed the subject, "Lady Grantham, I do hope I can take you up on your offer to show me the rest of the paintings before I go."

"Of course, there are crates and crates of them."

"Wonderful," his eyes lit up.

Robert swallowed. "Aren't you just here to see the Della Francesca?"

"Oh yes, that's why Mr. Blake suggested I come here because I'm writing a book on Della Francesca but I am very delighted to discover you have quite an impressive collection. Who knows, I may find inspiration for a new book," he grinned.

"Are you writing another book, Mr. Bricker?" Charles asked as he and Mary approached. "I didn't know."

"Well, I had no plans to but I am finding Downton has stirred up some new ideas."

"Shouldn't Mr. Pattinson show Bricker the rest of paintings?" Robert asked Cora. "Surely he knows more?"

"He's away, Papa. For the week. His granddaughter is getting married in London," Mary answered.

"Right, well, then," Robert jittered in his chair before clearing his throat. "What time are you and Mr. Bricker off?" he asked Charles.

"Oh, I'm catching the ten o'clock," Charles answered.

"I won't be off until later," Mr. Bricker answered. "I look forward to really admiring the paintings when I have my wits about me," he laughed nervously. "I'm afraid I'll need a long rest for that."

"And there are so many paintings for you to see," Cora added. "We will just have to get the car out twice. It's not a problem."

"If you're sure," Bricker responded with a brief cunning smile that Robert only seemed to perceive. "I don't want to be a problem."

"Oh, don't be silly! I look forward to showing them to you. I try to appreciate art myself but I'm afraid I don't know as much as I should."

"I'm sure that's not true. But the next time you're in London I would be honored to show you the Della Francescas in the National Gallery as a thank you for the kindness you have all shown me here."

"Oh, that sounds wonderful! Doesn't it, Robert?"

"Hmm, it does. We always enjoy going there."

"Oh, do you go often?" Bricker asked.

"Not often. I'm afraid we haven't been since my niece, Rose, was presented in London."

"That wasn't long ago, Cora," Robert defended. "But I would love to take you back."

"Wonderful!" Bricker exclaimed. "I can show you both around."

"It would be lovely to go with a historian," Cora added.

"I hope you think so," Bricker said quietly so Cora could hear him.

Cora stood at this, startling Isis by her feet. "Well, I best be heading to bed. I want to have a clear head in the morning."

"I'll meet you up there," Robert said more gruffly than he intended. "Isis. Come here, girl!"

 **how come it takes so long to write a drabble that is so short?! and ehh.. I wish I could loosen up my writing too but I always feel like it comes across stiff. Practise, practise, practise. Right?Or is that practice? :S The one that's the verb hhaha.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Little update:**

Cora dismissed O'Brien before tossing her robe on the arm of her chaise-lounge and sat, reading her book while waiting for Robert to dismiss Thomas and join her. When she heard the familiar turn of the knob and gentle shut of the door, she set her book down.

"Tired?" she asked as she watched Robert fall into his chair as he released an effortful groan before kicking off his shoes.

He rubbed his eyes as he tilted his head backwards. "It was quite the evening."

Cora agreed with a slight, "hmmph." She smiled at him now, drained of energy, his eyes closed. "You can say that again. At least you look handsome in black tie. Or as mother calls them, 'funny clothes.'"

Robert snorted.

"She's been in fine form since she arrived," Cora rolled her eyes.

Robert opened his eyes, meeting hers. "She always has something to add to everything," he complained. "But I expect no less," he shrugged with a slight chuckle.

Cora ran her eyes over his lounging form and felt amusement and appreciation wash over her. She stood silently and eased herself into his lap. He jolted and his eyes flew open but he quickly recovered by scooting into the chair and adjusting her weight onto him more comfortably. "She's been aggravating you at every opportunity," Cora insisted as her fingers played at his pyjama collar under his robe. "But you've handled it very well."

"So - I get points for good behaviour?" he teased.

"You do," she said happily and kissed his cheek. "But you're still many points behind me on tolerating one's mother-in-law."

"I can't deny that but you get so much more opportunity."

"Don't I know it," she pressed her finger into his chest. "But tonight, I got to watch her try and tolerate my mother and that makes up for almost everything."

Robert shifted her further into his lap and pulled his arms around her. "You don't think she liked being serenaded by an American woman?" he joked.

"No, darling. That's her son."

She began humming a melody into Robert's ear before softly singing. He felt a tickling sensation as tingles covered his body. He recognized part of the song she sang and began singing along.

"Let me call you sweetheart; I'm in love with you…" He rocked her back and forth in time with the tempo they created, a gentle sway from side to side - slowing as their song did. He ran his fingers up her bare arms. They sat in a comfortable silence for a moment until Robert cleared his throat.

"I really am," he sighed longingly.

"Really am what, darling?" she yawned against his neck with her head on his shoulder.

"I really am in love with you," he said, a far-away look in his eyes.

"Oh," she released a small giggle. Spreading both hands on his chest she whispered, "Me too, sweetheart," with a wide grin that made her cheeks scrunch up in a way he adored. He couldn't help placing a light kiss to both cheeks. "But you do sound like you are just realizing this now."

"Oh, no. It's just your mother being here brings back certain memories…"

"Oh? Good ones, I hope."

"She told me the night before we got married that because I wasn't in love with you, I better not lead you into believing I am because it would hurt you unnecessarily. She didn't understand why you would choose me when there were more 'worthy' men who would have been interested; men who wouldn't break your heart with one sided love. She said I wasn't, in her eyes, good enough for you. And now - thirty years later, it seems I've proven her point…"

"Robert," she admonished gently. "Robert, look at me. Thirty years ago, I chose to marry you not because of Downton and everything it offers but because I wanted you. My parents were the ones eager for me to get a title so we ranked better. I didn't have a lot of sway in the decision to bring me over here but I am so glad they brought me. And you know what? I'm glad Downton needed to be saved because otherwise," she leaned in so her forehead almost touched his, "I don't think you would have worked up the courage to pursue me. And that would have broken my heart more than anything because I was almost sure I loved you by our second ball and definitely certain by the third. You were shy," she hushed as she grazed his nose with hers and pulled back, "but so charming. Even though I didn't know if you would ever love me back when I accepted your proposal, that couldn't change my mind. I was already yours. So please don't think that if we move to a more modest estate that you're not good enough for me. I would have married you if you ran a shop on the seaside in Scarborough."

Robert ran his fingers through her hair and leaned up to press his lips firmly against hers. He pulled her head down to rest against his chest as he cradled her in his arms. "I can't believe there was ever a time I wasn't sure I loved you. How could I not be sure of that?"

"I don't know, darling. But please don't doubt my love for you - whatever comes; that will never go."

"At Downton place?" he asked.

She nodded. "Anywhere, Robert."

He shook his head slightly in disbelief as he studied her. Her eyes glimmered at him, soft and sincere - they lovingly begged him to believe her. "Your mother is right though," he choked. "You are absolutely and undeniably too good for me. No argument."

"Well, I'll tell mother you think so too and she can bring me back to America with her," she suggested and pressed her lips tightly together to keep from laughing.

"I'm sure she thinks you'll find a better man back home," he pinched her side lightly. She immediately swatted his hand away but pulled it into her chest just as quickly.

"I'll do no such thing," she peppered kisses across his forehead, "because you are my home."

"And you're mine," he breathed into her neck. "Because as hard as it is think of a life away from Downton, I can't fathom a life without you."

"And just like the song says," she ran her lips across his cheek and murmured against it, "You, alone, my heart can cheer. You, just you."

Robert turned his neck so his lips could cover hers. He rubbed his hands in wide circles across her back. Cora wiped her tongue across his lips and hummed, contentedly. As she placed light kisses from his lower lip, down to his chin and across his neck, she heard him sing the next line in a whisper, "So let me call you sweetheart; I'm in love with you."

"And I'm in love with you," she said seriously and pulled at the tie of his robe. "I know we can be happy wherever we are; together. And you know, there is one definite up side to a smaller estate…" she tossed the silk material behind him.

"Oh? And what would that be?" he breathed deeply below her.

"Well, with less assets to handle maybe you can spend more time handling mine?" she bit into her lip; containing her smile as she felt her cheeks warm at her insinuation.

"Cora!" he gasped, pretending to be scandalized but began automatically gliding his hands up her sides.

She covered both his hands with hers, guiding them to mould over the swell of her breasts and settle there. "Robert," she sighed.

"Oh my sweetheart," he placed a lingering kiss on the top of her head, the fragrant jasmine smell of her hair keeping him there as his hands swept lightly across her chest. Even through the material of her nightgown, his touch affected her so. "Sweetheart…" he repeated quietly as his lips brushed against her temple.

Cora swung her legs so her feet touched the ground. She stood and extended her hand to Robert. She didn't say anything as her hand linked to his but smiled warmly up at him as he brought their interlocked fingers to his mouth. As he kissed across her knuckles, they both knew that as long as they were together, nothing was lost.


	21. Chapter 21

**There was no scene between Robert and Cora in Season One, Episode Four at all. So, voila!**

Robert appreciated Bates' solemn demeanor as he efficiently helped him ready for bed that night. Bates could always tell when he was in no mood to chat and it was definitely one of those times. After going over the unsolvable dilemma of the entail with Matthew in the library, he had already wanted to pull out his hair from frustration and retire for the night. Then his Mama found them and she was furious, stubborn and mistaken - not a good combination with Mama.

He was tired.

The entail was unbreakable. Nothing could change the firmly written and almost cruel conditions that were signed upon his marriage. There was nothing he could do; as much as he often wished there was. However, wanting things to be different didn't lessen the guilt he felt.

His Mama did not believe he was bothered by the way things were. She seemed to think he gave no thought to Mary. Of course he didn't want to see her disinherited but she insisted that he was giving up too quickly. Too easily.

None of this was easy.

When she found Robert with Matthew in the library, she scolded him endlessly - berating and talking in circles and making accusations until he had a headache. The argument continued on as he helped her into the car at the end of the evening. He wanted nothing more than to forget about it for the remainder of the night. He knew he would hear more about it the next day. And the day after - and the one after that.

"Thank you, Bates. That will be all," Robert nodded as he secured the tie on the silk robe Bates had just helped him into. Taking his Lordship's evening clothing, Bates made his exit. Robert gave a deep sigh before going through to Cora's bedroom.

Cora was sitting at her vanity, O'Brien pulling her hair back tightly into a braid. At the sound of the dressing room door, she turned and met his eyes. She tilted her head slightly and gave him an understanding smile. "Good evening, darling."

"Was it now?" he grumbled in a defeated, sarcastic tone.

She assessed his tense posture and worn expression. She didn't answer. Instead, she quickly dismissed O'Brien, not taking her eyes off of her husband as she did. O'Brien lingered, looking between Cora and Robert curiously before she left - for much longer than considered appropriate. Cora stood and gently gripped Robert by both wrists.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. "No. There's nothing to be done; nothing more to say. So there's really no sense in talking."

"There may not be anything to say about the entail, no," she conceded. "But there _is_ something to say about our daughter."

"Yes," he breathed quietly as he tilted his head slightly to meet her eyes. "But I just couldn't talk to her tonight. Matthew is still here. I think he will try to reassure her that there isn't anything to be done. He fears Mama will say he's not trying to change things purely because he doesn't - and _I_ \- don't want him to. My worry is Mary sees things that way." Cora loosened a hand from his wrist and ran it up his arm.  
"If it were up to me, and speaking solely as her father, I would have her inherit but - "

"- But it isn't up to you."

"No," he pulled away from her, her grip broken around his other wrist. He slouched over to the edge of their bed and sunk his weight into the mattress, the dip in it seemed larger to her– like he was heavier from his turmoil. "No, it isn't. Just as it wasn't up to me to become the Earl, I must do things as they are meant to be done. For Downton. As Earl, it makes perfect sense to me. As her father, of course it isn't as easy as that. That's what Mama believes. She doesn't think I care. And I don't want Mary to think that," he sighed and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles before pressing circles into his temples.

"So tell her," Cora encouraged and sat next to him. "Tell her that as her father, it's not easy. As hard as that may be for an Englishman to do," she teased, cupping his shoulder. "Walk with her tomorrow. Talk to her. She needs to hear that this isn't being done thoughtlessly. "

"I know," he grabbed her hand. He paused. "I think I do know what to say to her. Mama on the other hand…"

"Don't think about that tonight. She knows the terms of the entail and how my money is now part of the estate. Matthew will inherit. She must realize soon that it won't make sense to quarrel over something that can't be changed."

"Mama doesn't choose her arguments based on logic though, does she?"

"History would say not."

He smiled for the first time since he walked in –albeit a slight smile as he rolled his eyes. His smile grew however when a thought entered his head and he couldn't help but chuckle under his breath and grasp her knee under his palm. "After all…" he whispered in low tone and she leaned onto his shoulder, prompting him to voice what he was thinking.

"Yes?" she encouraged curiously.

"She argued about you," he continued and kneaded his fingers into the soft skin above her knee. "And what could be more illogical than that?"

"Well, darling, she _still_ has arguments about me."

"Yes, of which she knows are fruitless. And completely illogical," his fingertips dug more deeply in her skin.

"So then we shouldn't expect her to accept Mary being pushed out either," she stilled his fingers on her leg, covering his hand with hers.

"But we all must," he said factually but with a hint of regret in his tone.

"Unless she marries Matthew," Cora joked.

"The sea monster?" Robert scoffed, recalling the unsubtle way Mary referred to Matthew in his presence after they were introduced.

"Ah, but now he is a sea monster trying to help her get what she believes is hers. And she couldn't accuse him of being a fortune hunter either, considering he has that fortune…"

"I didn't think you thought fortune hunting was a bad quality anyhow," he teased as he intertwined their fingers and brought her hand to his lips, kissing the back of it – letting his lips glide down to her wrist.

"No. It isn't always," she smirked as she turned her arm so he could kiss the underside of her wrist.

"Well, I didn't so easily approve of it as a young man who had no choice but to marry for money," he kissed a path up her arm. "But it turned out I would have had no choice when it came to you anyway," he drawled against her shoulder. She smiled against the thick curls that stuck out, brushing her cheek.

"Well fortunately for both of us, what we were made to do turned out to be just what we wanted. We were lucky," she uttered. Her voice faltered as Robert's tongue and lips inched along her neck, settling below her ear where he placed decadent wet kisses.

" _Very_ lucky," he whispered ardently against her skin before finding her mouth with his own, opening her lips with his tongue and tracing smooth patterns on the underside of her lip and the roof of her mouth.

"Robert…" her hesitant throaty moan tickled against lips. Her light touch on his chest was titillating as she looked up at him through hazy eyes, feeling perplexed and warmed by his increasingly amorous behaviour. Pressing her fingers against the silk of his robe, she searched his eyes. "Robert?"

"Darling, don't you know the ways I'm fortunate for you – fortune aside?" he smirked down at his hands resting at her knees. "After a miserable evening and feeling nothing but dread for the coming days, I was in a wretched mood. All I wanted to do was sleep to forget it all and then after five minutes of talking to you, I feel infinitely better," he spoke quietly - almost shyly - but his heartfelt tone made Cora lean into him, her chin on his shoulder. She placed a feather light kiss by his collar.

"You do that for me too," she reached her hands around his back and squeezed him, nuzzling her head into his neck.

"Good," he chuckled as he squeezed back then kissed the top of her head. He held her for a moment and when his grip around her loosened, he asked, "Do you think Mary will get that too?"

"Oh. I - ," she thought.

"I mean – we arranged for her to marry Patrick. I know she felt relief that she wouldn't have to – mixed in with her grief. And, she seems adamant on not agreeing to anyone we bring to Downton as a potential suitor and now – with her future in the estate being minimal, I just want her to find her happiness," he trailed off. "Am I being silly?"

"No," Cora's whisper was quiet but insistent as she shook her head irrefutably. "No," she cupped his cheek. "Not at all."

"What are we to do?" he wondered as her hand fell down to her lap.

"Take comfort in the fact that when Mary knows what she wants, she will fight for it," she offered. "She is still very young and I have no doubts she will find happiness, Robert. It may not be the life she's envisioned or hoped for but then, neither is mine. And I am so glad for that."

"Not as glad as I am," he claimed emphatically as he brushed his lips on her forehead. When he pulled back, she still saw sorrow present behind the meaningful look he gave her – which she knew had a tendency to dominate his thoughts.

"So, _are_ you alright?"

He huffed, making a 'pfffft' noise with his lips as he exhaled, staring down at his knees. "I've always done as I should for Downton – what is known to be right. Usually it is done without second thought but with this, I've never felt this unsettled or conflicted about doing what tradition dictates. I know I must. I must do what my forefathers would have done. After all, Downton isn't mine to do as my heart wants."

She nodded even though his eyes were still focused down at the floor beyond his knees. There really was nothing more to add to this conversation so she said simply spoke her words as she thought them. "No. But I am," her quiet and placating declaration made him raise his chin to her, finding her closer than he realized.

"Cora…" he said softly – full of gentle yearning. She felt a swell in her chest at the sound of his voice; at the tender way he said her name.

"Listen to me – I've always known Downton has a piece of your heart. It's who you are and I love you for it. And as stoic as your reputation as Earl of Grantham may be, I know that this isn't easy for you. I'm the only one who knows that the biggest piece of your heart belongs to me and our girls. I know you have to do what's right but I'm glad that it isn't easy for you," she explained and stood, offering him her hand as she did. He stood as she continued talking, her hands carefully untying his robe. "You're doing what you feel is right for the Estate, darling, as you've always done." She walked to his armchair, setting the silk garment over the arm before stepping back to him. "And the last time you made decisions that impacted Downton's future, I'd say it ended pretty well," she rubbed her hands against his chest. "Now, did you still want to go to bed to forget about tonight –or not?" there was a suggestive twinkle in her eyes that never failed to make Robert's stomach flutter.

"If only every decision I had to make were so easy," he laughed lightly against her lips as he leaned fully into her, moaning when she caught his bottom lip between her velvety lips. When her tongue lightly grazed his upper lip, his mind blurred – almost blanking. Just as she had done for him, he untied the silk sash clinging to her waist and peeled the robe off her body- his hands following in its wake.

 **a/n - i was worried Cora seemed out of character but really - after episode 2 or 3, she sort of seemed to relinquish the thought of Mary inheriting. I hope you enjoyed reading either way.**

 **:)**


	22. Chapter 22

The sharp sound of the gavel striking for the final time that afternoon stopped almost as soon as it started but to Robert, the abrupt sound managed to echo over the room. It echoed over the excited chatter and gossip among those who had bought pieces of art and those who merely spectated as he and Cora had done. The gavel's final strike as the Hendersons bought yet another painting felt like a slap to his face: a rude awakening to how much the times were changing. The selling up of so _many_ estates like Mallerton was a harsh reality check of how the changes were there to stay.

Watching his childhood acquaintance, John Darnley, forced to shake the hands of the new owners, Mr. and Mrs. Henderson - congratulating them with a fake smile made Robert feel empty. It was wrong. It shouldn't happen. But it _was_ happening. That couldn't be denied any longer. The changing times were pulling the expensive rug out from under so many aristocratic feet. Robert was grateful for Matthew and Tom for realizing that Downton needed to change its ways. The thought of Matthew made him feel emptier still. He missed him. He wished he had thanked him while he was alive because Robert knew without him, it could easily be he and Cora selling Downton away piece by piece. The thought of greedy buyers profiting from their loss and curious gossipers amused by their misfortune roaming around their home with malevolent eyes made him shudder.

He was one of the few auction attendees who remained seated. He tried to hide his deep sigh and pressed his lips up into a forced smile, matching John's. He felt a squeeze to his shoulder; Cora's familiar touch washed away his carefree façade for a moment and replaced it with a genuine smile. Albeit, a small one. He pushed away his morose thoughts and met her eyes as she lingered above him, waiting by his knees.

"Let's go say our goodbyes," she extended her arm to him. He encircled her wrist but remained seated.

"Yes. Our final goodbyes," he uttered dismally and gave a blank stare in John's direction.

She pressed her other hand over his reassuringly. "Maybe not," she offered weakly and regretted her words, knowing he would interpret them to mean it was not goodbye because the Crawleys were probably next.

She aided him as he stood from his seat, pulling his weight up to her. Then just as smoothly, she gripped her arms around his as they walked over to were the Hendersons stood; looking inappropriately giddy next to a man who was letting go of his possessions and his home. His wife, Marian was nowhere near his side. In fact, she was nowhere to be seen. Robert couldn't quiet the suspicion throbbing at his temples that persisted in mocking at him, " _She left him. She left him. She left him."_

—

Cora studied him as they crawled into the back of the car to bring them back to Downton. The frown etched on his face must have ached the muscles around his lips. He craned his neck to watch Mallerton shrink smaller and smaller as they pulled away. As they drove down the road, he still focused intently out the window - looking back.

"Robert-" she placed a hand lightly on his knee.

"Hmmm?" he managed in a distracted hum. She wanted to kiss away the deep line seared on his forehead. Pressing her fingers deeper into the skin just above his knee, she pulled him out of his haze. Her eyes locked with his and he looked at her expectantly. She had his attention but realized then she didn't know quite what to say. "Yes?" he asked and stilled her fingers on his knee, intertwining them between his own.

"You regret coming here," she stated but there was questioning behind her conviction.

"No," he denied. "I regret thinking it would be in any way nice," he allowed, thinking of how casually he regarded the whole affair; how he thought only of finding a memento of his Papa. Cora had been surprised, dubious even, when he said he wanted to go to the sale. Of course, she was right. "I understand why Mama says she hates auctions; especially of houses she knew - "

"Well, nobody could accuse you of enjoying yourself back there," she reflected, speaking delicately to comfort him.

"No," he shook his head. "Especially not compared to all those other Lords fiercely outbidding each other without a second thought…so sure of themselves. I don't understand. It's as if they think they're invincible, when clearly, all they need to do is look at John and Marian. It's hard not to worry."

"And you do so because you're sensible. Only careless people have no worry. It's alright to feel unsettled."

"Do you? Feel unsettled?"

"There's always uncertainty, Robert. I have confidence in you and in Mary to manage the estate with the times we live in. Whatever may come in the future, I know we are in good and dutiful hands," she gripped his hands in hers more tightly as if to emphasize her point; a hint of flirtation detectable as she assured him.

He dodged her unabashed effort to steer the conversation away from what was troubling him. "But you _don't_ know that. What if we end up like John? His future in the balance, like you said, at his time of life. We are older than he is," he hesitated. "Did you notice that Marian was not present this afternoon?" his forlorn voice shook, matching his hands shaking between hers.

Cora glanced ahead to the driver and decided to take a risk. After all, it was 1925 and if they hadn't already known, the day taught them that the times were changing faster than the wheels beneath them. So, she grabbed his cheeks and pressed her lips vigorously to his. Surprised at the gesture, he didn't have time to reciprocate before she lifted herself out of the seat to place a tender kiss to his forehead that contrasted her passionate and impulsive first kiss.

"Yes. I noticed," she responded to his question.

"Doesn't that strike you as...curious?"

"I suspect I'd be doing just as she is. In her situation," Cora said bluntly, almost cruelly.

"Oh?" his stomach fell. "You.. would?"

"Yes."

She settled herself against his shoulder and just as quickly as her words devastated him, they brought his spirits back up.

"Darling, I suspect she's saying goodbye to their son. Tim is still moving to Kenya?"

"As far as I know."

"Then, I rather think spending as much time with him is more important to her than Mallerton. It would be for me. Downton is our home, yes, and it is important. But if it ever has to go, I know that our children would come first."

"Of course," he shook himself. "It's just, among our kind of people, marriage is done for power and convenience and if that goes, it's becoming more acceptable to separate. To divorce," he said grimly. "But I always thought of John and Marian as having a real marriage, like ours, so it perturbed me that she wasn't there."

Cora looked up at him from under his chin where she was crooked comfortably under his arm. She didn't respond but instead brushed her palm to his chest; surprised and moved by how quickly his heart beat. It was endearing to her; how he could sometimes still be so nervous around her. Dear, sweet Robert.

"And just what is a 'real' marriage, Robert?" she teased after a moment. The apples of her cheeks were rosy and he brushed them with the back of his knuckles.

"I suppose I don't really know, my love," he whispered. "But ours is."

"Then please stop doubting that," she rested her head on his shoulder. "We have enough uncertainty to be sure of in the future. Stop fretting about us among that," she commanded.

Robert nervously checked to see if the driver was watching and kissed her temple, delighting in the feeling of her eyelashes fluttering against his cheek. "If you insist," he whispered. When he saw the driver's eyes in the rear-view mirror not showing fascination or interest at all in the Lord and Lady he drove, he gathered Cora in his arms, hugging her ribs over her thick coat. "It's funny, really."

"What's that?"

"How I married you to save myself from losing Downton.."

He saw an expression flicker across her face - mixed between wounded and perplexed.

"That's… funny?"

"No, no. It's funny in the way that odd things are funny."

"Odd…" she repeated, trying to coax him to elaborate.

"Well, yes. It's odd to me that I once married you to keep Downton while now, I would give up Downton to keep you."

"Oh," her lips coiled together tightly, holding back a smile. "Robert."

" - and now losing you is my biggest fear. I don't mean to sound as if I doubt you. You've been by my side truly for better or worse. When we almost lost Downton because of bad investments in railways, for instance - "

"But we didn't. We've had another five years in our lovely home since then. I hope we have many more but if we can't - " she shook her head as she came up with sufficient words. "Just like you said I am, you are the most important to me. I know how much Downton means to you. Losing it would be hard for me too, of course, but I know how painful it would be for you. If that happens, I couldn't be anywhere else but by your side, Robert. I never want to see you in the state you were in five years ago."

"I'd never felt less worthy of you," he admitted.

"Well, don't worry. At the risk of sounding sappy, you are the only man who will ever be."

"Oh? Why is that?" he played stupid, knowing she knew it.

"Because no matter how wealthy he is or how many possessions he may have, there's one thing you have that no other man can," she kissed his hand before placing it at her chest.

"Well, I don't know what I did right to get it."

"Hmm, you're doing it now," she snuggled up as close to him as she could even though the grand pillars of Downton Abbey were in sight. His hand still sat innocently atop her chest.

"Well, this - this I can keep doing."


	23. Chapter 23

**this was my Christmas 2016 contribution from tumblr. i thought it would fit nicely as a chapter here while i in the meantime lack writing abilities.**

Robert breathed in the scent of the splendidly decorated Christmas tree as he walked toward the library. Few things in life made him feel as cheery as seeing the grounds cloaked in fresh snow and admiring the hard work of the servants who, he thought, had really outdone themselves that year. The tree was captivating. With thoughts of the festivities to come, and how the entire house was always in good spirits, he sprung the library door open. He closed it behind him when he spotted the person who captivated and gave him more cheer than the brightest tree could.

Cora sat at his desk, looking amusingly small in his large chair. He could tell she was focused on something, perched at the edge of the chair, pen in hand - but not writing. She tapped it a few times on the page with her head slanted to the side, her chin resting in the palm of her left hand.

He quietly approached behind her. "What's that you're working on?"

"Oh! Robert!" she gasped, jolting up immediately. Her hands flew to her chest before she could shuffle the page under whatever items she could find on Robert's desk. "Darling, you frightened me. It's just some ideas for holiday gifts." She paused. "For you. Mary was asking me for some help with gift ideas for you."

"Oh. Why didn't she ask me?"

"Didn't she? Hmm. Maybe so you'll be surprised," Cora gave an evasive shrug, though Robert missed her wily smirk. He watched as she wrote 'Mary' in her familiar loopy writing on an envelope before tucking the piece of paper inside. "So no peeking," she threatened in a teasing way, her stern voice contrasting the playful look in her eyes.

"It looked like there were quite a few things written down…"

"Perhaps you were good," she mused slowly; disbelief laced through her words.

He placed his hand at the top of her shoulder, letting his fingertips slip gently down her arm and back up again. "Perhaps-," he considered and kissed the top of her head, "-but if you don't think I was, you have a peculiar way of showing your disapproval."

"I _did_ say the list is for Mary. Not for me."

"Well then, Cora. Do you think I have been good?"

She rolled her eyes and smiled. "I can't say. I suppose you'll have to wait and find out on Christmas morning," she moved to lift herself out of the chair.

"But that's not for nine days," he calculated and stepped in front of the chair, placing his feet at the outside of hers and his hands on the arms of the chair, preventing her from rising.

"Robert…" she exhaled and shuffled further back into the chair.

"I must know," he declared as if it really was of utmost importance.

"If it's any consolation," she reached up and pulled at the bottom of his lapels. Her voice lowered when she added, "Nine days _is_ a lot of time to get into my good books."

"And as experience has taught me, it's more than enough time to get out of them."

She hugged her arms around his waist and settled her chin above his stomach, looking up at him. "Tell me first. Am I in yours?" she drawled purposefully.

He felt a jolt spread throughout him at the brazen expression behind her sapphire eyes. It flabbergasted him for a moment. She always had an ability to dumbfound him like that and he had to steady his stance by securing his hands on her shoulders.

"There's nothing _but_ good things about you in my books," he answered as he hovered above her; their noses almost grazing.

"In that case, I'd very much like to read them."

He could only respond with a moan of approval when she pressed her lips firmly to his. His lips welcomed her tongue as it danced slowly across them, tickling him with contented humming sounds. When she began sucking ardently on his lower lip, he sprang into action and pulled her up. A loud girlish laughter rang through the library and suddenly, their positions were reversed. He sat in his chair with his thumbs rolling motivated patterns near her hipbones. When she collected his larger hands under hers and studied his expression, she felt him pulling her down into his lap. "Robert?"

"I'm serious, you know," he slurred with conviction.

"Oh? Are you?" she laughed, her question rhetorical. She shivered as Robert buried his face into the curve of her neck, kissing from her jaw down to her collarbone.

"Completely," he breathed his answer along her skin anyway.

"I don't have one trying or tiresome quality?"

"Mmmnnmmnnnn," he refuted, pulling at her waist as if to strengthen his argument. His touch made her feel light as he kneaded down her back, his fingers working at a maddening pace. They prickled at the small of her back while his teeth scraped at the rise of flesh below her collarbone, rousing a craving in her that she needed to indulge - at least for a moment. She shifted lower into his lap, his head crooking away from her chest as she moved. He felt her tugging through his hair, guiding his lips to hers once again.

"I'm glad to hear it," she responded when their lips parted after their deep kiss. "And I do hope you still think so when I tell you how I have to spend this morning at the hospital."

He released a quiet, "Oh," near her cheek. She could hear his disappointment but he didn't sound irritated. Not like he would have the previous year.

"Yes. I'll be back in the afternoon. And remember – we have to make sure the nursery is ready for Martha! Edith and Bertie arrive tomorrow."

"I couldn't forget. I can't wait to meet her," he smiled. "Though, I still don't think it was wise of Edith to name her daughter after your mother especially when Mary and Henry just named theirs Violet just a few months before."

Cora snorted into his shoulder. "I know. The chances of our daughters' daughters getting on better than their mothers did are ruined."

"But Edith had a point. Your mother would have protested even across the ocean if mama got her name sake and she did not."

"As if it wouldn't have been worse if happened the other way around," Cora teased.

"I don't doubt that," he granted. He reached for her hands at her lap, pulling one up to kiss across her knuckles.

"Will you walk with me to the hospital? It's a beautiful day and I would so enjoy-"

"Of course."

"And I won't be there long, really-"

"Cora, please. It's alright. I want you to go. I like seeing how much you enjoy it. And do you know how many people have praised your work every time I go into the village? It's remarkable."

"Thank you. It's just… I know how you …" she trailed off, wanting to choose her words delicately.

"What?" he started. "Miss you? Well yes, I do."

She frowned slightly so he continued, "But I think I would miss seeing how happy it makes you more if you stopped."

She leaned down to kiss his cheek lightly. "I was never going to stop. I just worry about you…"

"There it is!" he proclaimed.

"…there what is?"

"Your tiresome quality, my dear," he replied simply.

She gave him with a perplexed expression. "That I worry for you?"

"Yes. But only so when it puts a hindrance to your happiness."

"That's the worst quality you can think of in me?"

He paused, thinking. "Yes," he smiled up at her. "Pretty lucky, aren't I?"

"Lucky," she agreed, cupping her palms to his cheeks. "And to answer your earlier question, also exceedingly good."

His eyes lit up. "May I find out just what that means before Christmas arrives?"

"I think we both know the answer to that."

* * *

Barrow opened the front door for Cora when she returned. Just as soon as a footman removed her coat, Robert appeared with an enthusiastic skip in his step. Not worried about the presence of servants, he leaned down to place an adoring kiss to the corner of her mouth that lasted a couple seconds longer than she anticipated.

"How was the hospital?" he asked genuinely as he stepped beside her, curving his arm around her back – shamelessly stepping her toward the staircase.

"It was good! They're discussing sending more nurses and a specialist doctor to our hospital. I think it's needed. Of course, Mama will worry about if we can control them."

"Oh," he chuckled. "Naturally. But the president will get her way."

They reached the first step when Cora halted abruptly. "Let's have tea in the library-"

He hesitated. "But tea's in just over an hour from now and I thought we could…" he nodded his head up the stairs. "Cora?" he questioned, seeing the reluctance in her eyes.

"We can," she affirmed. "Just let me grab the list I made for Mary off your desk before I forget."

"Oh, I already did that."

"You what?!" she demanded, panic forming behind her eyes.

"Yes, when I got back from walking with you. I was clearing off my desk and I figured…"

"Robert-" she scolded tersely. "Oh my God."

"What?"

"Mary cannot see that list!"

"Why? Surely the only person who shouldn't see it is me. Darling?"

"You don't understand. The only person who I ever want seeing that list _is_ you. Where is it?"

"I asked Anna to put it on her vanity. Why?"

She rushed past him and up the stairs. When he caught up to her, he tried one more time. "Why can't she see it?"

"Because while it did list gift ideas, they were for me to give to you…for being good" she explained in a rushed whisper. She blushed after she added, "And they are definitely naughty."

He gulped, his heartbeat speeding up as quickly as the images forming in his mind. He grabbed her by the hand and tugged her alongside him. They turned down the corner of the gallery leading to Mary's bedroom as he breathed hurriedly. " _We must find it before the others do_."

"Mary's the one who will open it and get a shock…"

"She's seen worse, our Mary," he tried to calm her down. "She's been married, you know. Twice."

When Cora wasn't comforted by that, Robert knew he really needed to find that list.


	24. Chapter 24

**Scrolling through my Tumblr archive, I found this from September. It's nice to have things on ff vs Tumblr because they're more accessible here. Plus until I can get my current writing abilities (or lack thereof) on track it's good to have something posted.**

* * *

 **SET IN 5 X 06**

* * *

"Just so you know, if anyone has ever thought they could step into _your_ place, she was mistaken," he absolved her when he entered her bedroom a moment behind her. Her posture was drooped as she sat on the settee at the foot of the bed; half hoping he wouldn't follow her. She hung her head, hiding her face in her hands and muffled out her reply.

"So then you have given another woman the wrong idea," she grieved.

He hated the way her words caught in her throat. He skulked at the threshold of the connecting dressing room door, digging agitated patterns with his toe over his ankle. She looked up at him hesitantly, afraid of what she might see.

"That is why you could _expect_ to have me here, isn't it?"

"I really don't know what I expected, Robert," she bit and began shrugging out of her dressing gown with bothered jerking motions. "All I know is what I did not expect - which was for Simon Bricker to show up in my bedroom."

He cringed hearing that man's name on her lips. "Well, why did he get the impression that you would?" he challenged, approaching closer to her - his arms crossed stubbornly. He stood tall; his shadow condescended over her as he waited for her defense.

"I would suspect for less reason than… she.. had," Cora wagered callously. "God," she scoffed, "I think the very fact that you are in this room suggests you needn't ask me that."

He stared at her as her hard expression fell; diminishing almost entirely to a far-off stare. He watched as her suspicions became reality behind her glassy eyes.

"I almost stayed in my room," he looked at her wobbling chin. "Because I didn't want you to feel hurt over a meaningless dalliance but I couldn't lie to you."

"But you have been lying," she hiccuped. "And how do I know that it was meaningless?"

"Because I'm telling you," he took a risk and echoed her words as he sat down on the settee next to her. Guilt racked behind his expression and Cora had to turn her gaze away from his. His baby blue eyes that usually comforted her looked so lost as they pleaded with her. "I know it was meaningless. Just as I know the art historian was to you."

Her upper lip raised almost imperceptibly. It was the first time Robert addressed the man's true profession and didn't jealously scoff out other lower ranking job titles to belittle him. She knew he knew it all along.

"Completely meaningless," she confirmed and stood and set her dressing gown over on her chaise lounge. She paused and gripped the back of the chair before she turned her head back to him. He was watching her studiously. "Tell me why I'm not," she demanded.

"W-why you're not… meaningless?"

She gulped and nodded.

"Oh," his hands shook. "Cora…"

He noticed how she bit into her lip as her hand supported her weight on the chaise lounge. She expected an answer. He stood and closed the space between them, grasping her upper arms. "I'm afraid I don't know how to answer that. Please know that whenever I have had to look for meaning over the past thirty four years, I didn't need to look further than you. And if I've made you feel otherwise… if I've made you feel -," he gulped thinking of the words Bricker had the gall to say, " - if I've made you feel ignored, please believe I didn't intend to. I only ever want you to feel appreciated for how wonderful I know you are, Cora. You're extraordinary. It's no mystery that someone else noticed…"

Her chin lifted up so their eyes met. "I didn't want him to notice. I just wanted to be noticed -"

"I know, darling," he breathed heavily, a flicker of remorse darkened his gaze. She felt her stomach toss.

Cora pressed her hand to his cheek and he craned his neck down to bury a kiss to her palm. After a moment, she heavily sighed, "Oh, Robert. I am so tired. Please, let's just go to bed."

"And things will look better in the morning," he added gently, hoping the words she often said would comfort her. He squeezed her hand and guided her the remaining steps to their bed.

She squeezed his hand back before lifting their hands up to her chest. She gave a small smile, her eyes were worn but looked met his in a way that made his stomach jump and his legs feel unsteady. She nodded. "They already do."

She released his hand and they began to climb into their respective sides of the bed. "Good," he whispered. "And they will look even better in the morning. Every morning. I promise," he leaned across the bed to kiss her forehead.

"Me too."

"Let's walk tomorrow morning," he suggested. "It's been a while since we have; just us…"

"Yes," she immediately agreed through a yawn as she settled comfortably on her hip, closing her eyes to sleep.

His eyes ran over her, adoring the way she snuggled near his pillow. "We'll talk more tomorrow. Sleep well now, my dearest," his hand rested on her arm and she hummed.

"I think I will now."

* * *

Dressed in her best walking clothes, Cora descended down the grand stairs as gracefully as she could. Seeing Robert at the bottom made her unreasonably nervous. She knew it was unreasonable; they left things on such a promising note the night before. Although the memory of his lips on her forehead and warm touch on her arm while his whispers lulled her to sleep was comforting, she still felt unsteady. Her legs felt more jittery with each subsequent step and she breathed deeply; as if to coax her anxiety away. She needed this walk to go well.

Her apprehension lessened when Robert extended his arm out to her. His expression was earnest with a tinge of uncertainty in his his eyes but he looked so steady - so right - as she accepted his proffered hand. His broad shoulders were emphasized by his walking coat, the one he knew was her favourite, and she couldn't help herself when her hand swept up to briefly clasp where the tweed lapel tugged near his neck. What put her at ease more than anything else was the tremble in his voice when he blundered his words.

"Are you beautiful? You look ready," he cleared his throat as he shook his head frantically. His cheeks flushed. "I meant-"

She tightened her grip on his arm, giving him reassuring squeeze, and leaned into him. "Well, I am ready," she confirmed evenly. "And as for the other thing, why don't you tell me?"

He steered them toward the front door. "Well, my dear, I was trying to do just that but evidently your beauty is confounding. I'll admit, I'm flummoxed."

"Good," she giggled then looked around the foyer. "No Isis this morning?"

"No. The old girl hasn't seemed enthused about morning walks lately but it's just as well. I wanted to be just with you."

Carson opened the door for them with a faint smirk on his normally impassive features.

"Ooh? And where did you want to take me?" she gushed in a sing-song manner, pulling him toward the path.

"Through the village if you're up for it."

"Hmm, it is a long walk," she mused, feigning concern. "But that means we have more time together," she added carefully; the last of her nerves weaving through her words.

"Well, I'm definitely up for that," he looked over to her. The brim of her hat covered her eyes but in profile, he saw how her lips stretched; a hint of her teeth biting the lower one down to hold her smile in. He missed that. He vowed he would make her do that more often.

They fell into comfortable silence for a long while just enjoying their close embrace. Her body crooked into his; her arms hugging his bicep as they took in the beautiful Yorkshire scenery. Robert almost regretted interrupting the quiet.

"Cora…" he began seriously as he tugged his arm back enough to still her. He stood quietly, contemplating. "About last night…"

Her grip on his arm didn't waver. "I'm glad you're back, Robert. I'm glad we're -" she faltered, not really knowing how to describe the current state of their marriage.

" - we're alright," he finished hesitantly. He reached for her hands and pulled her close to him. "At least we will be. I couldn't have it any other way."

She nodded. "I wouldn't let you."

"Never have more reassuring words been spoken," he chuckled though there was little jest in the way he looked at her. He clutched her against him and her chin fell to his shoulder. She inhaled deeply; breathing him in and let out a whimper when she felt his comforting hands up and down her back.

"I mean it," she whispered in his ear. "As I know you wouldn't let me."

She grabbed his wrist then rubbed her thumb over the fading bruises on his knuckles. She looked up at him with glassy eyes that weren't caused by the cool Yorkshire breeze.

He met her gaze with a rueful expression. "Cora, I think I owe you an apology."

She took his arm between hers again, leading him closer to the village. She knew it was easier for him to open up and express what was on his mind if he didn't look at her directly. At least, not initially. She discovered this early in their marriage and made a habit of beginning to discuss their deepest thoughts while walking side by side or late at night in the warmth of her dark bedroom. Her quiet proximity and conciliatory touch had always been a catalyst for him to open up when he found it difficult. And so, she brushed his arm; squeezing through the tweed.

"I know we haven't had the easiest time these past few months. And, I think, a great deal of that is because of me. I've been…" he searched for a word, "absorbed into myself - my worries…" he paused. "We keep hearing it's a changing world. I think the only person having a harder time with that than me is my mother."

"Perhaps Carson," Cora suggested.

He snickered. "Yes, well." He turned serious again. "I think I've had an internal panic that's fogged my brain. I've been unsettled about the future and I tried to deal with it on my own. I should have come to you but I've barely done so. And when I saw Mr. Bricker seeing how magnificent and brilliant you are, something I can't fault any man for noticing, I let my insecurities grow more until I couldn't see past the fog I created."

"Oh, Robert," she sighed and pressed her forehead to his shoulder. "Mr. Bricker was never - could never - be a threat to you. Not for one moment. But I did enjoy being reminded, as you say, that I'm brilliant and magnificent."

"You are," he asserted more vehemently than he intended. "And what I really mean to apologize for is if you doubted I thought so and especially so if you've doubted that you are. I told you last night you're extraordinary but I can't tell you just how much."

She was quiet. Their synchronized stride moved several paces forward. She knew he meant everything he said and also knew how difficult it was for him to say out loud so she released the only thing she could think to. "Thank you."

"No," he refused. "Thank _you_ for being patient with me."

"Well, I've always been good at that," she teased and jerked her hip against his playfully. He chuckled and steadied her against him more than what was necessary; reaching down to hold her hand.

"Robert…" she said slowly, almost carefully. He studied her profile; the hollow of her cheeks, the rise of her nose, her reddened lips. He almost interrupted her thought, held her and kissed her. Her blue eyes blinked up at him expectantly though. Oh, those eyes. But they looked unsure.

"Yes, beautiful?"

"You weren't entirely wrong when you accused me of flirting with Mr. Bricker."

"I know."

He didn't sound angry or smug rather more sad than anything else.

"He flirted with me, really, but I didn't discourage it because I enjoyed it. Even when I knew I should discourage it and tried to, I didn't. I'm sorry -"

" - He flattered you. It was uncomfortable. Other men have flirted with you but he was so weaselly and purposeful compared to the many handsome house guests we've had over the years…"

"And he wasn't even handsome," Cora snorted.

"No?" he couldn't hide his pleasure. "Would that have made a difference?"

"No. It would not. And not because looks aren't important to me. They are. Essential really," she added and halted behind him, her mischief poorly hidden when he turned back to her. She pursed her lips together, holding back her warmed cheeks.

"Is this how you mean to tell me you're taken by a handsome stranger?" he inched closer to her.

"Don't be ridiculous. He's no stranger."

"But he is handsome, indeed?"

"Oh yes," she confirmed lowly. "Too handsome for his own good."

"Well, if he has you I can't reason how that wouldn't be good for him," he hovered his lips near hers before they pulled together as if magnetically. Neither of them wanted to separate too quickly but their proximity to the centre of the village stopped them.

"Where are we going, Robert?"

"It's not far now, just past this street," he wrapped his arm around her waist. "I want to show you something before we go home. Remember what you think because I want your view before I meet Tom and Mary in the library."

"About the houses?"

He smiled. "Yes, my clever, canny Cora. I want you to remember this space," they approached the edge of Pip's corner. "And when we get back to the library, tell me which design you see fitting here."

"Won't you just end up doing what Mary wants?" she half-teased.

"In all probability, yes. Because like her mother, she has a keen sense for what to do. I know this from the many insights you've had about the estate since before papa died," he answered solemnly. "You are not just the best thing that's happened to me, Cora. You're the best thing to happen to Downton."

"Well," she considered and plucked away at some imaginary dirt on his collar. "There was once a time you would have phrased that the other way."

"I can be a slow learner," he defended matter-of-factly.

"So I've noticed," she wrapped her arms around his neck and combed through his hair.

"Of course you have," he nodded. His hands settled where the swell of her behind met her lower back. "You don't miss a trick. So, what do you think?" he nodded to the empty field behind her.

"I think I'd very much like to go see these housing designs. And then any other _designs_ you may happen to have."

"Luckily, as of now, it's only the one housing development…oh!" he gasped at her quirked eyebrow. "I told you…slow learner."

She tilted her head back through her laughter. "I know. And I also know when given time, you are adept at mastering your knowledge and," she cleared her throat, "- skills," she giggled and gripped his hand, pulling him back the way they came. "Please tell me we have time before meeting with Mary and Tom."

He pecked her cheek. "I regret to say that we don't. But I know they have full agendas today so we can spend the afternoon going over any _designs_."

She kissed his lips quickly. "The entire afternoon?"

The lustful glint in his eyes answered her question before he did. "Yes and I think we can make it a brief meeting with Tom and Mary."

"The only brief meeting of the day, then?" she giggled.

He reached his palm to her cheek before grazing his fingers across her velvet-like skin. He didn't answer her, just leaned in to kiss series of feather-light kisses across her face and neck. She fell backward slightly, claiming through shortened breath that it tickled. When he relented and straightened her up; his hands at her lower back for leverage, he kissed her firmly on the lips.

The rest of the walk was leisurely; stopping often to share kisses that promised more to come. They got back to Downton with just enough time to change.

* * *

That evening before Mary made her grand entrance to the drawing room modelling her new haircut, the Dowager pulled Robert and Cora aside to chat.

"What is it, Mama?" Robert wondered. "You're very serious…"

"And more intriguing than Mary this evening!" Cora added.

"Yes," she looked her in the eye as she continued, sounding accusatory. "Intrigue is certainly becoming a common thing for a woman to flaunt, isn't it?"

" - I couldn't say but you are being rather discreet with yours now," Cora looked to her husband, bewildered.

"And you both may benefit from being so," Violet lectured. "So that I don't have to hear from a reluctant Spratt what he seems so giddy about."

"Mama? What are you trying to say?"

"I'm saying that while I don't like it, I understand we are living in a modern world. And while I'm glad if the two of you have fixed whatever marital discord you've been going through, I would appreciate not learning about it it from my butler who claims to have seen you coupling in the centre of the village!?"

"Oh, we were not 'coupling.' Not there," Robert protested before his ears turned red.

"Sorry, Mama," Cora looked down to her feet, feeling like she did at twenty one when Mama lectured them constantly about their amorous behaviour.

"Just keep that side of things traditional," she pointed between them. "Not that you ever have," she rolled her eyes. "Let's just keep the scandal to the fact you shamelessly share a bed," she whispered harshly then moved to her chair, awaiting Mary.

Robert shrugged his shoulders at Cora who looked torn between mortified and amused. He watched her as she too took her seat and felt a rush of pure joy that he was sharing her bed again. And he would be for every night she would have him.


	25. Chapter 25

"What on Earth?!" Violet exclaimed. She had just been greeted by Carson and entered the Great Hall to see Edith flying down the stairs with tears streaming down her face. Mary was behind her, not quite matching her speed and lacking the abundance of tears but looked equally distressed behind her watery eyes. "What has happened here?" she demanded though curiosity and concern matched the admonishment in her tone even as she scolded, "A lady must know to control her emotions."

"But - Granny - " Edith sniveled, attempting to wipe her nose discretely.

Violet's raised eyebrows and rigid posture quieted any attempt for Mary to defend her own display of emotion; although not as vulgar as her sister's. Violet motioned for her young granddaughters to follow her into the drawing room and sat them down beside each other. Neither of their feet quite met the ground though Mary's were closer and she sat just a little bit taller. Edith swallowed and looked up at their grandmother, whose head was tilted to the side sternly, waiting for an explanation.

"I know we aren't to conduct ourselves like that, Granny," Mary's ashamed mutter was heard between crackles in the fire. "But - but -"

Violet widened her eyes as if to say, "well?!" but Edith interjected, breaking the heavy silence both girls felt.

"Patrick just told us the most terribly awful thing," she said quietly into her lap as she breathed in unsteady air; making her voice quiver.

Oh, right. Patrick was staying at Downton while his parents were abroad. The boy had only just arrived and was already creating trouble. "And what, may I ask, was that?"

Edith gulped as Mary looked at her expectantly. Mary knew she couldn't say the words out loud and keep the level of composure she wanted to convey to her grandmother. It was just too terrible. "He said," Edith choked, "He said that Mama and Papa were b-bad and didn't deserve to have any b-boys because they aren't in love so they are p-punished with three g-girls," Edith sobbed.

Mary nodded and pressed her lips together. Violet let out a long breath and sat in the armchair closest to her granddaughters. "I fear Patrick is far too influenced by that nasty father of his," she said under her breath as she turned to face Mary and Edith. "Where is the boy now?"

"In the nursery. And he said that his father told him this," Mary added. "And he knows it's true because he had a son and that's because he has a proper marriage."

"I'm not surprised," Violet said harshly. "Girls - don't believe for one moment that you are a punishment. I was here the day you were born and I remember how delighted both of your parents were when they held all three of you. As was I and so was your grandfather and if he were here today he would tell you so."

"Then why- "

Violet raised her hand, effectively cutting of Mary's rebuttal. Mary fiddled with her thumbs as Violet ensured them, "You girls are not to think this way. It isn't true," she nodded and her expression softened. Edith and Mary looked a little less distressed. "It isn't true," she repeated firmly.

Both girls nodded obediently, both sitting up more straight - the way they were taught a proper lady does with composure and grace. Violet hoped that Patrick wouldn't be affected by his father's nastiness; inherited by his own mother but it appeared to be leaking down the family line and affecting her granddaughters.

"Girls, follow me," Violet walked over to the window by Cora's desk and looked outside. She watched as Mary and Edith walked toward her. "Your Papa and Mama love you and Sybil very much," she began and swallowed, preparing herself to articulate the next words. "I know this because I was there when you were born. Similarly, I know that they love each other. You see, I was there when _their_ love was born," she explained before she paused and sat down in Cora's chair. "Patrick will not make you doubt it all because he's told otherwise by a man who's probably never known what love means. It's not something we often discuss because it isn't proper to do so but I will not let think it doesn't exist in this house or that you aren't loved. You are," she reached for both of their hands briefly.

"Yes, Granny," they both managed - at the young ages of and eight and nine - they didn't know how else to react when their normally stoic and hard grandmother spoke openly of love or feelings.

"Why didn't Mama have any boys then?" Mary asked after a heavy pause. "Every other family does, it seems. And if they are in love, like you say…"

Violet shook her head slowly. "We don't know, Mary. What I _do_ know is they wouldn't exchange any of their daughters for a son. Nor would I or would anyone with a heart," she muttered. "And they aren't in love because I say. I don't need to say it to make it so -" she nodded her head at the window, where they could see Robert and Cora walking toward the house. Cora's arms were wrapped around his upper arm and they both tilted their heads to look at each other as they spoke. "Look at them, together. I've been alive a long while you know," the girls giggled at this as she continued, "And I've rarely seen another couple in love like that. I was there when they met and I've watched them grow. Trust me if you don't trust it with your eyes now. They love each other a great deal."

Violet watched Cora's hands intermittently rub circles on Robert's arm, bringing about a proud stride she only saw him carry in his wife's presence. Even from the distant window view, she knew they shared similar contented expressions and as they approached closer to the home, Violet felt it necessary to look away, feeling as if she were impolite for her observing their private interactions. She knew if it weren't for the scrutiny of others, Cora and Robert would display affection more openly than they already did. As openly fond of each other as they were for an aristocratic couple, they reserved more amorous affection for behind closed doors. For which, Violet was grateful.

"Why don't we all sit back down?" Violet suggested, knowing Cora and Robert would likely enter the drawing room upon their return, especially if Carson mentioned their daughters were in there. Sure enough, a few moments later, Carson opened the drawing room door, announcing Cora and Robert as he did. Cora immediately sat on the couch with the girls and Robert stood, watching with a smile by the fireplace.

"Where's Patrick?" Robert asked.

"Upstairs," Mary rolled her eyes. "When is he leaving?"

"What do you mean 'leaving', darling? He just got here," Cora asked.

"We want him to leave," Edith answered. Cora and Robert exchanged confused looks.

"It seems he's learned a thing or two about family from that father of his," Violet explained. "Remember what I told you, girls," she said strictly, rising from the chair, making her exit. "I will be back for dinner," she nodded curtly at the room and exited with Carson.

"Dare I ask what she told you?" Robert scoffed lightheartedly down at his daughters. Cora shared a short and nervous knowing look with him before her lips curled up in a smile that he matched.

"You may dare but it will embarrass you," Mary bit her lip - knowing her father to struggle every bit as much as his mother when feelings were discussed.

"Embarrass Papa?" Cora smiled.

"Don't you think so, Edith?" Mary chided.

"Yes. Papa - but not Mama."

Mary nodded.

"Girls?" Cora demanded.

Robert stared, waiting for his daughters to reveal whatever their grandmother told them.

"Granny was just telling us about how you two are in love."

Robert's bewildered expression would have made Cora laugh if not for her own confusion. Surely they both heard Edith wrong? But Mary elaborated, "and she said she's rarely seen love like yours. In _all_ her life!"

"But," Cora stuttered, flabbergasted. "But, why did she say that?" her bewildered face seemed to upset Edith.

"Isn't it true?" Edith asked fragilely. Mary craned her body to Robert, practically begging for confirmation.

Robert's body seemed to unfreeze and he stepped the few steps separating him from Cora and grabbed her hand. "Of course it is," he said sincerely before leaning down to kiss the top of her head. "Your grandmother would not lie to you."

"No, she wouldn't," Cora said slowly, considering her words, "And it is true," Cora pulled Robert's hand to her lips, lightly kissing it. "But your grandmother rarely talks of love without having a very good reason to do so. So, may I ask you to be honest now too and tell us that reason?"

Mary and Edith looked nervously at their parents. "Well, like Granny said - James told Patrick something and Patrick told us - "

"Oh, no," Cora couldn't hide the dread in her voice. She had never liked James and tolerated him least compared to anyone in Robert's family; and she tried so much to like everyone when she and Robert were first married.

Mary continued. "Well, Granny saw we were upset and said it wasn't true."

"What wasn't true?" Robert asked cautiously.

"That you and Mama were punished with three daughters because you aren't in love," Mary looked up at him with wide eyes.

"I swear, James is lucky he is out of the country," Robert growled.

"Darling," Cora squeezed his hand and pulled him to sit next to her on the couch. "Girls, of course none of that comes close to resembling any truth. We love you girls so very much. But it sounds like your grandmother has already told you so."

They nodded.

"She must be exhausted," Robert whispered into Cora's ear, making her stifle a giggle. "Well, she is right, girls. We do," Robert became serious. "Don't let Patrick upset you and do try to be kind to him. He doesn't have parents who …" he searched for the words that were hard for him to say directly.

"Who are as loving as we are," Cora finished for him. He nodded. "And as hard as it is for me to say it," she lowered her voice to a whisper. "Your grandmother was right about everything she told you today."

Robert couldn't restrain a deep laugh that seemed to whistle from his belly. "Yes," he leaned into her back, squeezing his hands to her shoulders. "She was right. About _all_ of it," he laid a lingering pattern of kisses on the back of her neck. Cora shivered and shrugged him off, biting back a smile and a burning blush.

"Robert," she warned with a firm press of her hand on his knee behind her. "Girls, I am glad your grandmother was here to set you straight about the awful things Patrick said to you. Now, why don't you go find him and set him straight?" Cora suggested, trying to steady the trill in her throat as she did so. Robert's fingers were tracing patterns on her wrist upon his knee.

"Yes, Mama," they both said and walked to the door, Mary behind Edith. As she was almost out of the room, Mary turned back and saw her father's lips glide up and down any exposed skin he could find on her mother's tilted neck. She leaned into his touch as his fingers whispered lines across her arm.

That was the day that Mary Crawley first felt truly comforted and reassured by her parent's love. It was also the first time she remembered feeling embarrassment by witnessing it. What she couldn't know when she stood there and heard her mother contentedly hum her father's name, was it would be a memory to comfort her in tumultuous times ahead. She had no way of knowing that she wouldn't get to be embarrassed by seeing her parents like that for much time to come. She didn't know that she would soon wish for it to happen. And when it did, she never felt embarrassment quite like that again. She would remember the words Granny told her and just be so very glad they were true. She learned one more important thing that day: Patrick Crawley knew nothing of love.


End file.
